She gives a harsh laugh. “Are you serious? I lost everything in my house, my career, any friends I had because I can’t even figure out what to say to them about my odd departure.”
“You can transfer your qualifications for pharmaceuticals, and any additional courses you need we’ll get you enrolled in. Yes, it’ll take work and time, but we can work together to create a happy home.”
“I never wanted to lose control over my life again.”
“Are you even listening to yourself?”
“When’s the shotgun wedding, Alfie?” she spits.
I clench my jaw and ball my fists. She’s treating me like I sought her out. She was literally delivered to me with little warning on a red-eye from Boston.
“A lot happened tonight. We both need to take a breather.”
“Now you want to hit the pause button?” She stalks toward me.
“You’re taking this out on me. I didn’t plan it. I sure as fuck didn’t cause it, but I’m handling it. We’re stuck together fo
r the foreseeable future. So why make it more difficult than it needs to be with sharp words and false accusations?”
“Easy to say when you’re the one with the power.”
“I nearly died for you,” I say quietly. “I was thrown in a shipping container-like garbage with no food or water. I almost didn’t make it. I’m lucky as hell that container held something edible, and even then it was dicey. You know what piss and shit smell like after a few days in a small dark space?”
Her eyes dilate, and her mouth drops open.
“He fucked me up royally. Mentally and physically. I required rehabilitation and a number of other things to get me back on my feet. Yet, I hold none of that against you, because it was all Porter. You need to make that distinction before your poison not just us, but Kier and his experience here. I gave you a few days to get it together. I’m done with that. Tomorrow we tell him, and we’ll be married before the week is out, because otherwise, we’ll set a chain of events into motion neither of us will like.” I turn on my heel and walk away. I lock my emotions down with chains and clear my mind. I’m good at shutting down. It’s opening up, that’s difficult. I leave her in the hall. She knows where to find me if she needs me.
Chapter Five
Athena
I spent the rest of the early morning hours tossing and turning. I can’t sleep when his words and my father’s death are haunting my every thought. His graphic description made my stomach roll. My father did that, and yet he took us on without hesitation. It’s more than most men would do. He could easily have tossed me out and kept Kier. Women are often seen as disposable in this old boy’s society of criminals. I was unloading on him in the hallway, and he didn’t deserve that. My throat swells as tears spill from my eyes. There was a time when the only thing I wanted was to be his wife. Now I feel like nothing more than a responsibility he’s inherited.
I’m too shaken to process everything, but I know he’s right. Remaining in limbo won’t help Kier adjust faster or do us any favors. The Albano’s and Brizzi’s needs to be reassured we’re not going to come after them. Maybe it’s a plus that Alfie and my father were at odds. Tired of feigning sleep, I climb from the bed and trudge to the shower. It’s a waiting game now. Until I get the call. My soul is heavy, and my brain is at max capacity. I toss my gown into the waiting basket and place my hair up into a messy bun to keep it from getting wet. I step onto the marble floor surrounded by a white subway tile and tilt my head up to let the rain like droplets beat down on me. Thoughts of my father set off another bout of tears, and I let the water disguise my breakdown.
When I leave the shower, I’m empty and even more drained than when I first began. I dry off with the thick, fluffy blue towels and dress to match my emotions in a pair of black skinny jeans, black sweater, and a pair of black booties with silver spikes along the heel. I step out into the kitchen and make a beeline for the coffee machine. The sun is just coasting into the sky, and I know Alfie will be surfacing soon. I owe him everything. I prepare the Keurig to brew a carafe and move to pull bacon and eggs out of the fridge.
I’m buttering the toast when he emerges dressed in a pair of dark slacks, a white button-down, and skull cufflinks. He looks sharp, more businessman than a debt collector. I bite the inside of my cheek as I remember the feel of his thick length, stretching me as he pounded inside me. He pauses, and our eyes meet.
“I’m sorry I melted all over you like ice cream in the sun last night. You’re right. None of this is on you, and I’m grateful for everything you’re doing for us.”
“I don’t want your gratitude.”
“Then what do you want?” I ask, throwing my hands up in the air as I grip the butter knife to keep from sending it flying.
“A chance. I want you to give me the opportunity to set us back where we should be. Why is that so hard for you to do?”
“Because losing you once was hard enough.” I turn back to the counter and place the toast on the pile I’m placing on a plate to cut through diagonally. He comes up behind me, and blocks me in, with an arm on either side of my body. He presses his front to my back. His heat sears me.
“And I’m telling you that I’ll never let that happen again. The only way I’m being taken away from you is in a pine box.”
I give a choked laugh. “And that’s better.”
“Nothing is certain in this life, Thea. I’m promising you what I can.”
He wraps his hand around mine and guides it to the counter. I release the knife with a clunk. He wraps his arms around me, and I lean back against him.
“We owe it to ourselves. Instead of going through the motions, go all-in with me.”