Broken but Breathing (Jinx Tattoos 2)

“I waited so long for this moment. My twisted heart is having a hard time letting go.”

“Hate, anger, and revenge will never bring true peace. It’ll make you feel good for a while, but that’s the ego speaking. You have to let this go and bring Joc home.”

“And once I get her. What then? Where will she live? What kind of parent can I be to a little girl?”

“I been around enough to know you can get things done on a fast track. You make a home while you’re locating her. Then you let her help you personalize it.”

“God, why do you know all the right shit to say?”

“Might be the years of Child Psych and Child Development required for my degree.”

“Oh my God. I’d forgotten you were a teacher.”

“And I’m here to help you any way you need. You don’t have to do this alone.”

He sucked in a deep breath. Maybe that’s what I needed to hear. “Do you think I can do this without screwing her up?”

“I know you can,” she said.

Her unwavering faith humbled him. He closed his eyes, breathed in her scent, and meditated on her words.

“I could rent a house, get her enrolled in school, and get a sitter for those times when I can’t be home.”

“Yes, you can,” she agreed.

“What do I do when I find her and she doesn’t know who the hell I am?” he asked.

“You remember you have the rest of your lives to remind her.”

He nodded. It’s decided. “And you’ll help?” He hated the tentative tone of his voice. Asking for help chaffed him, but he had a child expert right here. He’d be a fool not to take advantage of that.

“Every step of the way.”

“I’ll need a house in a good school district or close to a private school. I know how crowded public schools are, and I want to give her the best chance possible.”

“What else?” she asked.

“I want a girl friendly space that will bring her comfort and allow her to remember her mother.”

“You should hire an interior designer—”

“No. I won’t trust just anyone with this. I want you, Es.”

She paused.

He swallowed. It was a lot to ask of someone who avoided children like the plague.

“O-okay. You’ve made up your mind, then?” she asked.

“You were right. I’m a father first. Jade would always put Jocelyn before anything else. I’m just reeling right now. I hoped before she was still alive. Now it’s a fact and I need to get my shit together. I have a little girl out there who needs me. Whether she knows it or not. God, she could be going through fucking anything, Es.”

“Hey, we don’t know that. Did he say anything about the arrangement?”

“Just that he sold her. I can’t see that being something any upstanding citizen would be a part of,” Snake whispered.

“You’d be surprised. Legal adoptions are lengthy, pricey, and at times near impossible to get approved.”

She’s being kind. I’ll let her think she’s easing my mind, but I expect the worse. Money can buy counseling. I can’t go back in time, but I can look to the future and prepare. Those men were hate mongers, and like attracted like. The thought of any of their kin or acquaintances rearing his child turned his stomach.