“Jesus Christ, do you know what could’ve happened to you? There are so many sick fucks out there—” He bit his jaw hard enough to taste the metallic flavor of blood.
“I know, that’s what Es said.” She burst into tears. “I hurt her so bad. I just… I was so mad about moving here, leaving everything, and then you left.” She hiccupped.
Her words were a flaming red flag. “What did you do?”
“I told her she wasn’t my mother.”
He closed his eyes and went onto one knee in front of her. “But I want her to be. She loves you like one. You’re lashing out at the wrong person, baby. Without her, we’d be screwed, plain and simple. She’s a common wealth of knowledge and constantly helping us through this.” He shook his head. There was no choosing between her or Estelle Noll. They were both his.
She sobbed harder, and he knew her guilt would be worse than any punishment he could think you.
“Do you like Es?”
“Yes,” she wailed.
“Then why?”
“I don’t know.”
He sighed. “That’s not a good enough answer, little girl. You’re too old for me to accept that without punishing you properly. But first you are going to apologize to Estelle and mean it. I plan on putting a ring on her finger, and making us an official family, which means she will be your mother, if we’re both lucky. Then you’re going to be grounded for the next month. That means no television, no outings, and you’re going to do some volunteer work. You have no clue how good you’ve had it. I think seeing the other side of things will bring clarity.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m disappointed in you right now, but I don’t love you any less, you understand?” he asked, careful to drive the point home. The Miles had been hung up on the right behavior. He wouldn’t have her feeling that way here. Kids messed up and you steered them back to where they should be. It’s how it went.
“Yes, sir.”
“Can I get a hug?”
She launched herself into his arms, surprising him. He stroked her hair, grateful for the break through. “I want you to go upstairs to your room until it’s time for lunch, okay?”
She nodded.
He kissed the crown of her head. “Love you, little one. Now get.”
He released her small frame and watched her make her way up the stairs. Finally, he had his baby back in his life where she belonged. Now to take care of my other girl. How her words must have cut. He forced his aching body to rise and sought out Es.
She sat in the rocking swing they’d purchased, staring out at the woods.
“You got room for one more?”
“She tell you what happened?”
“Yeah, she did.”
“I almost lost her, Xavier. What the fuck kind of guardian does that make me?”
“One dealing with my spawn?”
/>
She turned to him. “How can you joke about this?”
“It’s easier than voicing the horror running through my head about what might’ve happened if you hadn’t gotten to her in time.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he brought her up against his side. “You want to tell me your version?”
She hiccupped and nodded, pouring her heart out between gut-wrenching sobs. Thank God for Enzo.
“You asked me what kind of guardian you are…well, you’re one who places herself in the path of harm to protect my daughter. She loves you, Es. She lashed out, and you were the closest, so you took the brunt. Don’t take too much of this onto yourself.”