Enzo (Jinx Tattoos 1)

“I’m sorry if I frightened you,” Enzo said quietly. He was withdrawn and somber.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

An uncomfortable quiet fell over the room. She busied herself buttering and jamming the toast, plating the eggs and bacon. “Sit, you need to eat. I think we both burned an insane amount of calories,” she teased.

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. He sat down, brooding. His brow remained furrowed, and his eyes were sad.

She knew what was coming. Walking away, she poured him a cup of coffee—black—and then laced hers with a healthy dose of sugar and creamer.

“Come and eat with me,” he said, patting the chair beside him.

She did as he requested, unsure what to think when he pulled her chair flush to his own. He wrapped an arm around her and ate one handed.

She cherished the small act and bit her tongue, letting him take the lead with the next move.

“That was delicious, Ave.”

“Thank you,” she replied, smiling up at him sweetly.

“What you saw today, that’s par for the course with me. You see now why I say I’m not right. My choice to remain apart from you was more than fear. I’m a mess, and that may never change.”

She closed her eyes. “But it could.”

“I’m thirty-five, Ave, and unlike you, I don’t have the faith to believe in miracles and healings. I’m broken—”

“You’re just a little bruised.”

“No, I’m like a high functioning alcoholic. I have a sickness that I deal with in a manner that allows me to appear normal, but in the privacy of my own home, the darkness leaks out.” He took her hand. “I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”

“Let that be my decision.”

“No, because you don’t know how not to take the problems of those you care onto your own shoulders. This burden is too heavy, Aibhlinn. And mostly, I don’t want to hurt you. When I have those flashbacks, I’m not aware of my surroundings.” He shook his head. “I’d cut my hand off before I let that happen, a chroí.”

The sound of her native land on his tongue ripped at the bleeding wound in her heart. “So get help.”

“And you’ll what? Wait for me?” He shook his head. “No, I’ve been selfish enough to last a lifetime. You deserve to be happy, and if it’s not with me, I have to accept that. You have to accept that.”

She shook her head.

He placed a finger on her lips. “Yes, a chroí. Didn’t you tell me that Catholics believe love is willing the good of the other person?”

“Oh, you asshole, using my own words against me.”

He smiled. “I love you, but we both know there are times when love isn’t enough.”

Her dreams shattered like a snow globe dropped onto the ground. She couldn’t push him after seeing what he lived with. “If I agree to this, do you promise to get some kind of help?”

“Aibhlinn.”

“If not for yourself, for me, please?” She gazed up at him

“Only if you promise not to wait around.”

She choked on her sob. “I won’t.”

“Maybe a time of separation might be a good idea,” he said softly.