“So, it’s possible. I always knew a pretty girl like that couldn’t possibly stay single for much longer.”
“Mom.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Were you wanting to step up and admit the way you feel about her yourself?” she asked sweetly.
He scowled. Of course, his mother had noticed the way he felt. “My decision to go back to counseling wasn’t as spontaneous as I let you believe.”
“You’re slaying the dragon for your lady fair.”
He smiled. “Guess I am.”
“That girl is your soulmate, remember that. Whatever you have to do, however long you have to fight, remember she’s worth it. We were worried about you in high school. You could turn the ladies’ heads and get dates, but you didn’t have any friends. While you had your brothers, they were so much younger. There’s a huge difference between seventeen and fourteen. Then Aibhlinn came into your life, and you lit up, my boy. You blossomed and came out of your shell. You don’t throw something like that away.”
“But you risk losing it all opening yourself up completely. How can you give everything knowing you’re giving someone the means to destroy you?” he asked.
She sighed. “Because if they’re truly the one, the thought of life without them is unimaginable. So, despite all your fears and reservations, you give everything you have to hold onto them and the love you’ve been gifted. I was terrified of failure when I married your father. I grew up with a single mother and a deadbeat father in an era where that was as taboo as it got. I wasn’t sure I believed in love, not really. Then I meet your father in college, and he showed me everything I was missing out on. I was smart enough to not let the fear render me incapable of risk. You understand what I’m saying?”
“I’m reading you loud and clear, Mom,” he said, turning her words over in his mind.
“Good. Now, dinner at six o’clock?”
“Yeah, Mom, I’ll be there.”
“Good boy, love you.”
“Ditto,” he replied, hanging up.
THE OFFICE WAS SMALL and homey. It was a ranch-style brick building converted into an office. He walked inside and found himself greeted with cheery Thanksgiving decorations and a grey-haired office manager who sat at the desk with a headset on.
“Good afternoon, ma’am. I’m Enzo Jordan here for a three o’clock.”
“Welcome, Mr. Jordan, I have everything ready for you. “ She handed him a clipboard with a stack of paperwork. “Once you’re done, you can bring this back up with your insurance card, and I’ll make copies.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said, taking the clipboard and the mini packet of papers to a seat by a window.
His palms were damp and his nerves were frayed. Filling out the paperwork had been torture as he watched the minutes tick by like time had slowed. The woman waiting for him wasn’t what he expected.
Tall, thin, blonde, and young, she had her hair pulled back into a severe bun, but her oval-shaped face was kind. She stood from her desk and he took in her black pencil skirt and white button down blouse. She was professional, but approachable. “Hello, Mr. Jordan, I’m Dr. Castells. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hello, Doc. It’s nice to meet you, too.”
“Please sit. This session will be a bit informal. I’m looking to gather information about you and what you think your issue is, and I’ll form a plan.”
He nodded his head. He was used to this, but it’d been a while.
She took a seat across from him in a chair with her notepad. “So tell me, who’s Enzo Jordan and why is here?”
“Well, I’m here because I have a problem with intimacy.”
“That’s a very interesting way to put it, Mr. Enzo.”
“I don’t have a problem with sex. I can fuck just fine. It’s anything after that. I have a woman, my best friend in the world, and I’m in love with her. I have been for years. But as I am, I can’t provide her with what she needs.”
“Can you expand upon that?”
“I get antsy and restless. I start having nightmares and flashbacks.”
Her eyes widened.