Enzo (Jinx Tattoos 1)

“You can see how that would be detrimental to a relationship,” he said wryly.

“What are these nightmares about?”

“My past.”

“And the flashbacks?”

“I can only assume they’re connected in as well. This would be a good time to fill you in on my background. It all ties into that. I never knew who my father was. I’m not sure if my mother knew. She was heroin addict who sold her body and whatever else she could get her hands on for her fix. That led to a lifetime of neglect, periods of abandonment, and some abuse. She never really hit me, but her words were sharp and her habit of ignoring me cut deep and started my habit of never getting to close. When I was maybe ten, she left and didn’t return. I turned to the streets to earn money and did my best to keep up on the house and put food in my belly on a daily basis. I tried to pay the bills, but eventually they piled up on m

e, and when they came to evict us, they figured out I’d been living alone. I was a troubled kid. I trusted no one, and I was constantly in fights, or in trouble for stealing. I thought I had to take care of myself and always have a backup plan, just in case. I was in decent homes, good homes, and not so good homes, but none stuck. Then when I was fourteen, I went into the Jordan home and I learned what love was supposed to me. We had our issues, but they got me straightened out and on the right path. When I was eighteen, they adopted me.”

“That’s an incredible journey, Mr. Jordan.”

He nodded his head. “It is. I was really lucky, we both know the adoption of older children is rare, and I found my passion, art. I co-own a tattoo shop that does pretty well, Jinx Tattoos. I have my own home, and I create paintings on the side.”

“Your life sounds full.”

“It is. Up until recently, random hook-ups were enough.”

“You say you have problem with intimacy?”

“Well hell, Doc, that was just sex. They didn’t even stay the night. I couldn’t risk that.”

“You sound like you speak from experience.”

“I do,” he replied quietly.

“Do you want to tell me about that, Mr. Jordan?”

“Enzo, please,” he said.

“All right. Enzo.”

“When I was young I attempted a relationship. I needed to keep my mind off the one person I found myself wanting, and I figured I should try it at least once. I didn’t love the girl, but she was pleasant enough to be around. She started spending the night, and the nightmares hit full force. The worst of my memories. It put me on edge. I started going without sleep, and then I had my first flashback. I woke up with my hand wrapped around her throat. It scared the shit out of me.”

“Was she okay?”

“Fine, but terrified. We called it quits, and I resigned myself to casual sex.”

“What changed?”

“My ability to hide the fact that I’m head over heels in love with Aibhlinn.”

“And she’s your best friend?” the doctor asked.

“And more. We had a fake friendship. We did everything a couple would, except make out. If there’s a wedding, we’re each other’s date. We have the keys to each other’s homes, talk daily.”

“And why do you think she allowed that?”

“I know she loves me, too. We admitted it about a month ago, gave the relationship thing a try. I didn’t last a day. That night, I had a flashback.”

“Is that what prompted you to come here?” the doctor asked.

“It was a catalyst, but it’s time I get right for myself. I’m thirty-five. If not now, when?”

“That’s a good outlook. What are your goals?”

“To let go of the past, so I can have a future,” he said.