Sweeter Than Candy (The Davenports 1)

I smile at her grateful tone. This moment is why I love this job. The adoration in her eyes as she peers down at her son is inspiring and moving. I blink rapidly to hold back the tears. Moving toward my bag, I pull out charts and allow the two to have uninterrupted bonding time before I begin to ask questions to help me figure out how much milk she’s producing, and how much nourishment Acton has managed to take in.

“How are your nipples doing?” I ask as I jot down her responses to the questions.

“Rachel, I see that you’re in good hands, and my nephew is sufficiently calmed, so I’ll take my leave now,” Asher mumbles from behind us.

“Thank you for staying with me, Ash,” Rachel says.

Asher’s face softens. It’s like looking at a different person. “Of course. I know it’s hard having Joseph gone. If you need anything at all, I’m a phone call away. Kane will be out of town for the next couple of weeks, but Micah and Luka are working from home as well right now.”

“I don’t want to impose—”

“Stop.” Asher holds up a hand and Rachel clamps her mouth shut. “Family first?” he asks.

“Family first,” Rachel repeats. Their devotion to one another is admirable.

“Excellent. Ms. Paulson.” He gives a curt nod and strides out the front door.

It’s too bad good genes were wasted on the frosty, arrogant man.

“It’s good that you have so much support. Parenthood is difficult, and there’s a huge learning curve starting out.”

“We have a pretty big family. It’s driven me nuts over the years, but it has its perks also. My husband took three weeks of paternity leave, and now he’s stuck out of town.” Her words are a jumbled mess. With Acton snoozing in his cherry wood, canopy-covered bassinet, we’re free to talk. I can see the shame and embarrassment on her face.

“Life happens. There’s no judgment here, okay?”

She nods her head. “This isn’t how I envisioned this going. I put so much thought and planning into my birth plan, and nearly ended up having a C-section after thirty hours of active labor. Then Acton had trouble latching and was finicky with formula. It’s been one thing after the other, and having Joe gone makes it all even harder.”

“We’re going to get you to a version of normal you can handle. I’ll be here for the rest of the day helping you get Acton accustomed to breastfeeding. If for some reason it turns out that’s not the best option for the two of you, that’s okay, too. All that matters is that Acton is loved and well-cared for. You can do that, right?”

She bites her bottom lip. “Yes. But I know breastfeeding is best.”

“There are certain undeniable benefits to breastfeeding. But there’s no one right way to raise your child. Together, we’re going to figure out what works best for you and Acton. That is the important thing. We’re going to help you transition into this new stage as smoothly as possible. I’ll be here for the rest of the day supervising feedings and answering any questions you may have. First, I want to ask you when’s the last time you ate?”

She opens her mouth and pauses, shaking her head. “I don’t remember.”

“You have to be sure to take care of yourself. Why don’t you get some lunch, and take a shower? It’ll sit here with Acton.”

She glances at the bassinet nervously.

“Being a mother doesn’t mean being with them every second of the day. It’s okay to accept help and take time for yourself. You have to be okay in order to care for him the way you’d like to.”

“I didn’t expect to feel this conflicted. There’s guilt when I’m not doing everything possible to see to his well-being.”

“Mom guilt is a real thing. The first step to defeating and managing that irrational emotion is being aware of it. You still have an abundance of hormones running through your system. We’ll monitor how you’re feeling, and if it gets too extreme, we’ll get you in to see your doctor.” Post-partum depression is a condition that was once often overlooked. Education has really brought the woman’s issue into the forefront.

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“I won’t be long.” Rachel stands.

“Take your time. You’ve pumped to keep up your milk supply like we mentioned, correct?”

“I have.”

“Good, I have some new bottles I’d like to try. The nipples were made to simulate a breast. He may take to them better than he did previously. And I can only imagine your breasts could use a break. It’s tough on the tissue. Take a shower, use some of the medicinal cream.”

ASHER

“Explain to me why we have to be here for this,” Kane mutters.