“I think you’re selling one another short. It’s clear to anyone with eyes there’s a spark there. Eventually, a line will be crossed. Wouldn’t you prefer that it happen on your own terms?” Austen tilts her head.
I open my mouth and close it, unsure about how to answer.
“Anything this special is worth taking a chance on, Clar-bear.”
“Ash is different from anyone I’ve ever known. I want to peel back all the layers and see who’s at the center. If I spook him, I may never get to the core of his being.” My face heats with embarrassment. “I know it seems like I’m afraid to get back out there, but that’s not the case. I’m not gun-shy. I’m following my gut.” I shrug. “It’s worked so far.”
“Has it?” She arches a brow.
I sigh, blowing the loose curls out of my eye. “Since you don’t agree, tell me, oh wise one, what do you think I should do?”
“Why, I thought you’d never ask.” She sits up straighter in her chair. “I’m not suggesting anything drastic. Just consider dropping a few subtle hints.”
“Aunt Clara! Come play with me,” Darcy calls.
Saved by the goddaughter.
“Duty calls.” I stand quickly. “I’ll think about it.”
Austen grins. “I said think not do. So, no more of your lip.”
She zips her lips, and I roll my eyes as I head toward the pint-sized pixie with large hazel eyes and a halo of blondish brown curls. At four, she’s shedding the baby fat, and growing up too fast on me.
“I’m here, Lady Darcy. What would you have of me?”
Her sweet giggles are music to my ears.
“Let’s play tag. You’re it.” She hops down from the swing, taps my legs, and takes off. I give chase, losing myself in the game.
After a day of chasing around an active toddler, my fluffy bunny slippers and matching robe are welcome after a hot shower. I veg in front of the television binge-watching Nailed It on Netflix. The knock on the door makes me smile. Ash is headed out of town, and he’s dropping off Rook. I shuffle across the carpeted floor and open the door. Dark circles stand out under his eyes, and his eyes are clouded with pain.
“Asher?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah. Sorry, I’m later than I expected. The day got away from me.”
I’ve never seen him so out of sorts. “Come on in.”
He clutches the cat carrier like a lifeline. The alarm raises as he walks him over to his cat perch and opens the door.
Placing a hand on his shoulder, I duck down to meet his downcast gaze.“Are you okay?”
He opens his mouth, closes it, and shakes his head. His shoulders slump as he visually deflates. “Today’s been a rough one.”
“Why? What happened?” I shut the door and lock it. “Come and have a seat with me on the couch. Relax and breathe.” I usher him to my sofa.
He plops down. “There’s a part of my life I never talk about. It’s painful, and while I’ve done my best to come to grips with it, I think in this case it’s the best any person can do. There are certain events one can never truly move forward from.” His voice wavers. This is it. “Six years ago, I lost my wife and our baby.”
“Oh, my God.” His words split my heart in two. “I am so sorry.” I grab his hand.
“It’s been a long road. Holly and I were high school sweethearts. I knew she had cardiomyopathy. A genetic condition that causes weakness and degeneration in the heart muscle. It’s unpredictable. Some people can live a long, full life, with few symptoms. Others may never know they have it until they suffer sudden heart failure, or they may be greatly affected and have to limit their activities. Holly fell somewhere in between the first and the latter. I knew going into our relationship her symptoms could worsen at any time, and we had to be selective about what we did. It sounds like a lot. I know you’re probably imagining a frail, pasty-faced teen who was always watching others do what she couldn’t. It wasn’t the case with her. She had a personality that filled a room. We were paired up as lab partners in Science, and that was all she wrote. Most guys I knew couldn’t wait to leave high school behind and start over in college. I never saw it that way.” He smiles sadly. “When my parents died, Holly and her family were there for me every step of the way. She stood by me while we took over the company and I worked my fingers to the bone proving myself. It could’ve hurt most new marriages.”
“But it didn’t hurt yours?”
“No. She was actually proud of me.” He snorts. “Do you believe that?”
“She sounds like an amazing woman, Ash.” How could I ever compete with that kind of perfection and history?
“That’s an understatement. All she ever asked for was a child. That was her big dream.” He looks across the room, seeing something that I can’t. “I knew it might act as a stressor on her body. A better man might’ve put his foot down.” He spears his shaking fingers through his hair. “She was so hopeful, though, and a child was the one thing she wanted most. How could I deny her that opportunity?” His voice shakes.