Sweeter Than Candy (The Davenports 1)

“I’m having a difficult time adjusting to the idea of being in a new relationship. It feels odd and uncomfortable, like I’m wearing a new pair of jeans I haven’t broken in properly. Additional pressure didn’t seem like the best way to go.”

“It’s past time, little brother.”

“I know.”

“Yet it makes it no easier, does it?” Luka asks.

“No. The thought of making new memories with someone else is foreign, and a tiny part of me feels like it’s a betrayal to Holly.”

“She’s not coming back, Asher,” he says gently.

“I know. I always thought she was the love of my life. That no one would ever compare, and yet here I am. What does that say about me?”

“That you’re human.” He sets his drink on the tray attached to the seat in front of him and fixes his gaze on me. “Do you think she’d want you to live the rest of your life alone?”

“No.” Holly taught me love meant wanting the best for the other person. Father Carthy, who married us, described true love as willing the best for the other person. It always stuck with me long after our marriage prep classes. She showed me in her actions and thoughtfulness how important I was to her. I did my best to reciprocate. We’d never been religious in my class, and despite attending R.C.I.A to become a member of the Catholic church, I was a newbie.

“Then why do you feel that way? Holly was one of the most giving people I ever met.”

“Becoming involved with Clara isn’t dipping a toe into the water, it’s jumping headfirst into a raging river. I think about her constantly. Seeing her happy makes me feel like I’m on the top of the world. I never thought I’d experience this type of joy again. She paints my life with color.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? For too long you’ve been coasting through life. Sure, you kept busy and went through the motions, but we all knew deep down, you weren’t truly fulfilled.”

“Contentment is safe. You don’t stand to lose yourself. I spent years trying to figure out who the hell I was without Holly. We were together for so long; she had become a vital part of my personality. Suddenly, with her gone, I was a boat adrift in an endless ocean. I managed to find a place where I’m okay. Stepping out with Clara threatens all of that.”

“I don’t agree, but I won’t tell you not to feel a certain way. If you feel like this, why are you dating her?”

“I tried to stay in the friend zone, but the pull between us is too strong, and the thought of her finding someone else is unacceptable. Ignoring it was a temporary situation at best.”

Luka takes a sip. A thoughtful expression falls over his face. “Life is full of ups and downs. We know this well. All you can do is see where this may lead, and enjoy every second of the ride. We all like Clara. She’s kind, driven, and beautiful. I think she’ll be an excellent match for you. Routine and work were how you survived the grieving process. This is the next step in the process, moving forward. You can’t live in the past forever.” His words hurt, but they’re honest. “Promise me you’ll give this thing with Clara a real chance.”

“I promise. I’d never willingly hurt her. She’s my best friend.”

Luka smiles. “I think this will work out just fine. Give it time. Take things slow, and remember we’re all here for you, whatever you need.”

“I appreciate that. How are you and the wifey?”

Luka beams. “Better than ever. We’re trying for a baby.”

My jaw drops. “You?”

“I know. I never saw fatherhood in my future, but Olive has changed my mind on many things.”

“You would be an excellent father. Just ask Rach.”

He smiles bashfully. It’s odd to see my control freak, overly confident older brother like this. Olive has brought back some of the carefree boy he was before we lost our parents. “Do you think so?”

“With one-hundred percent certainty. The family is growing rapidly.”

“You know how it is with a big family. Once you break the seal on the children front, the rest tend to follow. This way, at least some of the cousins will be close, and I’m not getting any younger.”

“Please.” I roll my eyes. “Forty is the new thirty, and you’re only forty-one.”

“It takes nearly a year to cook a bun in the oven.”

I cringe. “Never let Olive hear you making light of the pregnancy process like that.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “I like my head to remain on my shoulders thank you very much. That woman is an Amazon crammed into a petite frame. Angering her is never a good idea.”