“Are you getting wiser?” I tilt my head and study the man who stands where a boy once did. It’s hard to see your siblings for the adults they grow into.
“Please, I’ve always been this smart.”
“You wish you were.” Kneeling down, I begin to remove the items from the oversized bags. Thanks to Pinterest, I won’t be begging Rachael to help me. Our patio has a nice view, but the undecorated minimalistic decoration leaves much to be desired. In order to set up a romantic evening, I have work to do.
Chapter Five
Clara
Rook meows pitifully as I walk him up the down the hallway. I click my tongue.
“Just a little farther, Rookie. I know you missed your daddy. ”
“Rawr?”
“That’s right. Daddy missed you, too. He’s going to be so excited to see you.” I never thought of myself as a cat person, but from the minute I heard his pitiful mew, I was hooked. The fact that he’s as cute as a button and extra cuddly helps. I rap on the door, and it swings open. Candles flicker in the darkness, giving the room a soft glow.
“Ash?” I’m stunned by the transformation. He takes the carrier from my limp hold and guides me inside of the apartment.
“I wanted to show you how important you are to me. We left things on an iffy note. I don’t want you to think I’m going into this with the ghosts of the past haunting me. I’m looking forward to getting to know you on an even deeper level. Neither of us would take this step if all we wanted was a casual date.” Bending down, he lets Rook free. Strands of dark hair fall over his forehead. He rises. “I think together we’ll both flourish.” He takes my hand in his. “I never would’ve asked you for more if I hadn’t believed I was up to the task.”
Slightly overwhelmed by his grandiose gestures, I struggle to untangle my tongue enough to speak.
“You didn’t have to do all of this.” I crane my neck to take in the aisle way created by tealight candles leading out onto the patio.
He kisses the back of my hand. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m a fortunate man to have you by my side. I’ll endeavor to make sure you feel I’m worthy of your affections.”
If I could melt into a puddle right now, I’d be soaking into his plush beige carpet. The hint of a British accent he procured from his mother tips the scene into the realms of romance novel status. Coming from anyone else it’d be a line. From him, it’s charming. He tugs my hand, gently, guiding me through the room and out onto the patio. The space overlooks a pond with a flowing waterfall and a beautiful display around the edges.
Strands of tiny white lights have been hung over the patio furniture in a large V-shape. Soft looking navy blue blankets are draped over the sofa. Light blue accent pillows with anchors are angled against the cushions. A vase full of sunflowers rests on an end table with pillar candles that add to the ambiance. The large table directly in front of the couch has a silver container full of ice, and Not Your Dad’s Rootbeer bottles. Vampire the Masquerade tabletop game is stationed in the center of the table, ready for us to play. I hold a hand to my mouth as tears threaten to spill.
“What’s wrong? I thought this would please you,” Ash says hesitantly.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “You remembered my favorite things.” The complete acceptance is disarming. My last beau spent months trying to shape me into the woman he wanted me to be.
“I listen to everything you share about yourself.” He brushes my knuckles with his thumb. I shiver.
“Would you like a drink before we play?” He helps me sit.
“I would.” He pops the top on a bottle and hands me a frosty brown bottle with a black and white label. I run my hand over the game board. You need to tell them. My conscience gently nudges me toward the confession I’ve been dreading. The flawless execution of this evening has me feeling guilty for all the things I’ve left unsaid. Slow and steady is our pace. He’s recovering from a loss, and I’m learning to trust a man with my heart.
I’m a private person by nature, but the events from previous years hardened my heart. I grew tight-lipped and closed off. The road back from that sad and lonely place had been difficult. Scars do funny things to people.
“Before you left, you shared your past with me. I think it’s only fair I do the same. I’ve had a few serious relationships in my life. My first was a high school first love that didn’t make it past the first year of college. The next came just after college. We were together for three years and separated when we realized how far apart we’d grown. We were chasing different things. I knew marriage could never be an option. Marriage, a family, and a satisfying career were the things I wanted most. So after my break up with Ralph, I focused on the latter. Mainly because I didn’t need anyone else to achieve it,” I admit wryly.
Ash snickers.
“That’s where I met Ian. On paper, he was everything I had prayed for. He was a pediatrician who loved kids, volunteered on his days off, and had a great sense of humor. He wined and dined me for a year. I was head over heels and starting to believe he might be the one. Our family and friends were just waiting to hear an engagement announcement. I was happy.”
“So what happened?” Ash asks.
“Things started to change. It was in small increments. He started nudging me toward certain styles, events, and causes. I know growing together as a couple and finding common interests is important. I also know that doctors have a certain image to uphold, so I went along with it at first.” I cringe as the shame washes over me, weighing me down like a stone around my neck. How could I be so stupid and blind?
“Clara?” Ash tucks my hair behind my ears and cups my face. “You know this is a judgment-free zone.”
“He was a slow-moving poison that crept into my veins and rotted me from the inside out. The inches he took became miles, and I felt powerless to stop him. He always made it seem so trivial. That my protests were a manifestation of some silly emotional response. His way was logical. Why make a fuss over it? I should’ve picked up on it sooner.”
“Because you have a Masters in Psychology?”