All I want for Christmas is Yoon

She claps her hands. “You sure about that?”

“Yes. It’s easy to talk to Hart because she’s also in the industry.”

“Oh, is that why?” She tilts her head.

I scoff, and she laughs. “How are Mom and Dad doing?”

She lets me change the subject, and I relax, taking in her updates as I get caught back up on everyday life. Half the time, I feel like I live on another planet from everyone else.

My phone ri

ngs. Sang’s name pops up on the screen. I grunt. “Hello?”

“Yoon. I’ve managed to fit in a few appearances in while we’re home.”

My anger flickers. “I was supposed to use this time to rest in between filming.”

“Rest too long, and the world will forget you exist. Our Netflix viewings have gone through the roof with our appearances in America. People are excited about the second season, and they want to know more about you.”

“I haven’t even unpacked yet. And the fans can, and do, find out plenty about me online.”

My sister glares at me. I ignore the chocolate-brown eyes identical in color and shape to our mother’s. It’s like experiencing double the judgment.

“That’s why we need to give them something new.” I sigh. “Who’s gotten you to where you are?” Sang asks.

“You,” I whisper. The feeling of being a young man isolated and cut off from everything and everyone he knows slams back into me. I tremble slightly as I close my eyes, remembering the hunger from the extreme diet and pain from hours of dancing. I remember the times I was pushed to my breaking point, passed out only to wake in the hospital, be given an IV, and a B12 shot before being sent back to practice. I grip the edge of the couch cushion.

“So why would you doubt me now?” His voice raises, snapping me from my haze.

Because I’m exhausted. The words dance on the tip of my tongue.

“What did you want me to do?” I ask softly, exhausted from the explosion of emotions and memories swirling inside of my heart and mind. He rattles off an appearance on local television and a signing at a mall. Both of them will be with Jin Woo for the show.

“So be ready tomorrow at four a.m. We need to arrive early enough for the studio to get you prepared to go on the morning show.”

“Yes, Sang.”

“And do not cheat on your diet. Once you get lazy, it’s all downhill.”

My stomach rumbles.

“And don’t forget at the end of the week you have a shoot for the new skincare ads for the fall.”

“I should get to sleep now then.” I disconnect. The small act of rebellion fuels something inside of me that feels good. I crave more of it.

HART: How are you settling in at home?

The message makes me smile. She hasn’t forgotten about me or asked me for anything else fan-related for her sister.

Yoon: It’d be better if I had more downtime to try new recipes.

It turned out we both had a love for cooking. We’d taken to exchanging recipes.

Hart: About that. I did a thing. ...

I stare at the screen of forming dots.

Hart: I know you’re on a strict diet, so I revamped one of my cookie recipes.