All I want for Christmas is Yoon

“Good. Did you eat today?”

I smile at his routine check-in and let his deep voice lull me into a relaxing state that will lead me to sweet dreams of the man I’m falling for.

YOON

Things have been strained between Sang and me since I walked out on him a few weeks ago. He hasn’t approached me about Jiwoo again. Instead, he’s always pushing his own agenda, making sure we’re seated next to each other, and seen walking together as often as possible. Already the internet is speculating. He sticks close to me as we ride the elevator up to our rooms.

“Don’t think about sneaking away to see your American.”

“She has a name,” I say quietly.

“See how much fame she’s gained just from being on our show? She expects more.”

“You pretend to know her so well when you’ve only spoken with her once.”

“I know her type. Do you know how upset your fans will be? Suddenly, Koreans aren’t good enough for you.”

“I have never said that,” I answer smoothly. I can’t let Sang get under my skin.

“We both know it’s not what you say that matters.”

I won’t give Hart up. I have never felt this way about anyone. She knows the real me underneath the suave and perfect exterior, and still, she wants me. The weaknesses I struggle with haven’t turned her away. That’s rare and deserves to be protected.

“I deserve to have a life outside of my work. To one day marry and possibly have a family. Many actors do this.”

His jaw drops. “You hardly know this woman. What is she telling you that has you turning into a stranger before my eyes?”

“Nothing.”

“Americans are much freer. Is it the promise of sex?” he scoffs.

I reach out to hit the emergency button and stop the car. Using my height, I force him into the wall of the elevator. “Do not speak about her like that. I will not tolerate it.”

His eyes widen. “You would turn against me?”

“You’re doing a good job of severing the ties of our relationship on your own.”

“Do you need assistance?” a voice crackles over the speaker.

“I am so sorry. I accidentally pressed the emergency button.”

I press it again once more. We rumble into motion, each of us remaining on our side of the car, like boxers about to go into battle. The gauntlet her been thrown down. All I can do is wait and see what the fallout will look like. It’s past time I take back my life. The tension is stifling. I all but flee when the metal doors slide open, and I make my way to my hotel room with long strides. Closing the door behind me, I sink down on the edge of the bed and grip the sheets. I battle my anxiety as my heart spikes and sweat coats my forehead.

Breathing deeply, I walk myself through all the reasons why this is necessary. I can’t fully live when I’m not in control of my life. I’m no longer a child who needs constant guidance or protection from impulsive and reckless behavior. A life lived solely for accolades and the entertainment of others would be empty for me. My family is taken care of. I can take risks I couldn’t before. An alarm chimes on my phone, signaling it’s time to meet up with my girlfriend for breakfast.

I grab the manilla envelope she sent me with directions. Staring in the mirror, I watch the face I know by heart disappear with a prosthetic nose, facial hair, and false teeth. No one would mistake the person in front of me for Yoon Kim. After adding a long, black wig to the getup, I slip a dark hoodie on over my T-shirt and walk down the hall. I take the elevator down to the buffet-style breakfast area. I hold my breath as a few teenage girls enter, but they pay me no mind. My muscles unclench, and I lean against the wall, enjoying my visit to the land of normalcy.

I exit the elevator, just another person who blends into the background. Whistling, I stroll to the eating area with an extra spring in my step. I spot Hartley seated at a table near the back, and my stomach flutters. Without a stitch of make-up in yoga pants and an oversized, heather gray shirt hanging off one shoulder, she’s stunning. I head for her, and she waves, grinning. Her shoulders shake with laughter as I reach her and sink into the seat beside her.

“Wow.” She cups my face, turning it from right to left. “You did an excellent job with this.”

“You did drill me on the application over and over on Skype.”

“I wanted to make sure you could do it alone.” She pouts, and I chuckle, squeezing her hand. A jolt travels through my body. I rest our joined fingers on my knee, enjoying the closeness. “I’ve waited so long to touch you.”

She leans closer. “You can touch me all you like, Yoon.”

I clear my throat as my pants grow tighter. Her frank talk is different from what I’m used to, but also one of the reasons I’m so enamored. She speaks her mind honestly and openly.