“I couldn’t deal with his racist posturing on top of dealing with Pop’s brush with death. He wants to assert dominance, but I’m not his old lady or some King chaser. The only thing I owe him is respect. He’ll have to find another dark-skinned woman to break down and humiliate.”
Shadow whistles. “Shit, Dixie Rose.”
“I’m not a little kid he can make cry.”
“No one said you were,” Skull says. The mohawked brother has an intensity in his words that rings sincere.
I appreciate him throwing his support into my ring. “No one told him to shut the fuck up either,” I say.
“It’s a touchy subject,” Shadow defends.
“Not that we’re condoning it. You know we work in shades of grey,” Skull says.
“That’s a copout and you know it. It’s easy to ignore the elephant in the room when it doesn’t affect you directly. See, this bullshit is why I left. We’re supposed to be a family, right? Everything for the club. Protect it and the families at any cost. How the hell did I slip through the cracks if that was our motto?” I shrug off Shadow’s arm as we reach the car. “I know this isn’t on you, but it sucks, and I need to go before I say shit I don’t need to.” I hit the unlock button on my key fob.
“I get it. But you better get a hold of this shit. You can’t go mouthing off to the men in this club. You going to bring your old man and you trouble. Mouth is old school and we know he has no problem using his fists. He’ll draw your blood and call it justified,” Shadow says, opening the door.
“I wish he’d put his fucking hands on me,” I hiss.
Shadow arches a red brow.
I clench my fists. He hums, and I want to kick him in the shin.
He has a point. A valid one.
“I’m going to go home and get some sleep.” I climb into the car, gratefully sinking into the comfortable seat.
“You do that. Try not to let him get to you. His time is coming. The old is phasing out and it’s killing him.”
“Forgive me if I don’t feel any sympathy,” I say.
“Didn’t ask you to,” Shadow replies. He closes the door and taps on the hood.
I pull away and roll down the window, letting the night air clear my head. Pissing Mouth off and baiting him won’t get me anywhere. No one can undo the years of my childhood, and being home isn’t about him. It’s all about Pop. I round the corner and pull up into the driveway of the ranch house I grew up in. The floodgates open and I’m floored with memories.
~~
San Mateo, 2000
The ping of rocks against my window pulls me from a light sleep. Warmth infuses my body. He’s here. I throw the covers off and climb onto my knees. My dad was pulled away on a run last minute, and I’m solo until the Grans come over tomorrow. I peer out the window and see him in the moonlight.
His blond hair is a halo around his angular face. He’s all high cheekbones and icy blue eyes, like most of his Nordic ancestors. His lips are pink and the perfect size for kissing, nibbling, and biting.
My stomach flip flops, and the familiar ache in my center begins to pulse. No boy has ever made me feel the way Joel does. I never thought I’d find someone so special. Civilians can’t see past the club and my pops. Club boys don’t want to risk getting their asses kicked if they break some patched member’s daughter’s heart. Also, when it came to me, they couldn’t see past color. Ridiculous, that in thi
s day and age it mattered, but it does for me. When my club doesn’t patch in Black members, and my skin is a cocoa brown, it’s impossible not to stand out. Most members could give a shit, but there are those who think separation should still be a real and practiced thing. Joel’s father is the ringleader of hate. What am I doing?
Joel flashes me an almost shy grin.
Yeah, I’m melting. I’m choosing to be happy for once in my life and forgetting about everything else. He makes me feel brave and carefree. When I’m with him…nothing else exists. I open the window, and he jogs over, climbing inside. It’s not the first time he’s snuck in, and I know against my better judgment, it won’t be the last.
“Hey, I didn’t think you were coming,” I say. With no one else in the house, there’s no need to whisper.
“I had to wait until my brother crashed. You know how nosey he is.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I do.”
“But I’m here now.” His gaze rakes over me.