I want to see where our boundaries lie. She doesn’t protest, and I can’t help but feel like I’m one step closer to her surrender. We’re locked in a battle, and while I might lose a skirmish, I have to win the war.
“We never got to do things like this.”
When I open the door she exclaims, “Holy scarlet and gold!”
“Uh, yeah.” I take in the emblazoned tapestries on the wall, the massive four poster bed in the red and gold theme, along with the huge bathtub. It’s the nicest room I’ve ever seen in my life. I glance down at my cut and faded jeans, dusty from the road. I don’t fit in here. I look at the soft expression on her face and push my discomfort aside. I can be the man she needs. Who gives a shit if it’s my usual style or not, she’s not just any woman.
“We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want,” she says.
“You like it?”
She tilts her head back and peers up at me through long lashes. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”
“Then we’re staying,” I state firmly. I can see now how imbalanced our power was before. She was a kid, and I was a boy forced to be a man way before his time. Things had to be different this time. She’d been on her own too long. The brilliant flash of white as she grins makes me want to give her the entire world.
“Thank you.”
“I only want you happy,” I say, honestly.
Her expression becomes shuttered again.
I can feel her pull away. “What are you afraid of?” I ask.
“Doing this again and having my heart ripped out. You damn near annihilated me.”
I open my mouth to respond.
Dixie holds up her hand. “Yeah, I understand why now, and logically, it makes a difference, but here,” she thumps her fist over her heart, “it still feels the same. It took me years to put myself back together. I’d ask myself every day what I did wrong. Why I wasn’t enough. I picked myself apart, holding every flaw up to the light. When I wasn’t doing that, I told myself I was nothing more than a joke. A toy you played with because you could. I imagined your whole family laughing at the little black girl who thought she could land herself a white man.”
The words rip at my soul. “Never. Don’t you know all I see is you? Not color?” I cup her face in my hands. “I don’t give a fuck what my family thinks. They’re wrong. I won’t give you up a second time.”
“I’m not an object to be had.”
“No, but you are mine. Always have been…always will be.”
“You’re so sure.” Her eyes fill with sadness. “I wish I felt that way.”
“Deep down, you do. I wouldn’t be here with you if you didn’t. It’s still there, baby. You want me to earn your trust again, I’ll do that. But we both know once I make my claim public, everything is going to change. You want to sit here and tell me you’re going to be okay with some King Chaser pushing up on me?”
Her eyes flash with anger.
“Exactly.” I nod at her.
She releases a heavy sigh. “Can we not talk about this right now? I’m starving, sore, and dusty from the road.”
“Tell me, when are you going to deal with it?” I push.
“When I’m ready.”
“And if you never are? We got two days until church.”
“You think I don’t know that?” she snaps, pushing me away.
I grab her wrists. “You’re avoiding it. I’m done doing that. I’m laying all my shit on the line. My
reputation, shit with my family, and my relationship with the brothers. Who knows what they’ll think about this shit. You know we don’t do secrets. You expect to stay safe and unscathed.”
“You’re the one who wants to reveal it.” She struggles against my hold.