A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos 2)

“No, I’m just over her behavior. I don’t feel sympathy for the way things happen to her when she causes it. She never learns, Mom.” I shake my head.

“I wonder if you’ll be able to sit there so self-righteous when I tell you she’s in jail for drug trafficking. Given her previous charges, she’s looking at hard time,” my father says.

“Wait—what?” I ask.

“They caught her trafficking kilos red-handed. She was almost at the border. There’s no explaining our way out of it, and given the hard-on they have for the Kings in this town, there’s no leniency expected. We’ve talked to the club lawyer. He says three years minimum, and that’s with good behavior.”

My heart thuds in my chest. “But what about Bolt?” I ask, thinking of her son.

At sixteen, he still needed a full time caretaker, more so than most, given his current attitude. Dad refused to let him live in his house permanently. The feds continuously study his every move, and he feels like they’ll plant something, find it on a raid, a

nd take Bolt away. Unless he rolled on KOC, of course. We all knew how they played the game.

“That’s why we called you over, girl. You know he can’t stay here with us. They’d haul Bolt out and put him the system so fast, it’d make our fucking heads spin. Shadow still has another six months on the inside for that gun charge. So that leaves—”

“Me.” Like always. Bitterness wells up inside me. I love my family. I’d do anything for them. But I hate the way I’m placed into the role of cleaner extraordinaire. While Calla lived her life to the fullest, screwing up left and right, I was expected to be the exact opposite. Like my goodness and dutiful law abiding could somehow make up for her rash behavior. I thought when she had Bolt things would change.

We were all disappointed to find that wasn’t true, none more so than Shadow. I think he thought he could tame Calla. That somehow, attention, affection, and eventually, a baby would change her wicked and wild disposition. Or maybe, she trapped him, thinking he would make her his Old Lady. It might’ve worked if she hadn’t been trying to dick around with other men every chance she got. The quiet man had always been deeper than a lot of the other brothers looking to have fun. He was the kind the King chasers went after, because they knew he’d make a good old man.

“What do you want me to do, Pops?” I ask, using the childhood nickname to smooth things over.

“Become his guardian and take care of him.”

I run my fingers through my hair.

“The fuck is that shit?” Pop roars.

I flinch. “What is what?”

“This.” He grabs my hand, holds it up, and waves it around. “You marrying that yuppie?” he asks, disgusted.

“I …didn’t get a chance to answer him.”

“Then you’ve already said no,” my mother says.

“No, I didn’t say anything. He asked me to think about it,” I reply, defending him.

“Yeah, right,” my dad huffs. “We both know he’s not the one for you.”

“Then who is, Pop? One of the guys at the club? Oh wait…no, they won’t touch me, so I guess I’m supposed to be solo forever. That way I can always drop everything and come to the rescue.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? I just told you your sister is going to jail long term, and you’re pulling this bullshit? You been away from Kings so long, you forgot what loyalty means. That pretty boy is putting this shit in your brain!”

“No. He’s not doing anything,” I counter.

“Just trying to marry you, and force you to be what he wants. We barely saw you after you started dating him. You think I can’t put two and two together?” Pop asks.

“That had nothing to do with him and everything to do with getting my own life,” I answer, defending him again.

“Life outside of Kings of Chaos? Girl, you were born into this, and you’ll die here. You think moving twenty minutes away from us, and keeping yourself scarce is going to make you exempt from the rules?”

No, but it got you to notice for once, didn’t it? “No.” I drop my head, breaking the intense stare-down occurring between us. “You’re right. Now is not the time or the place. Whatever needs doing, I’ll do. I’m not happy about Cal’s misfortune, I’m scared for her. You know I love Bolt like he’s my own. He’s more than welcome at my place. I’ll sign the papers, and do my best to ease him into this transition.”

“There’s my Blue,” Pop says.

I nod, embarrassed by how quickly I folded. I claim to want another life, but I’ve never taken any final steps. I’m too attached to my family. It’s not them I want to escape though, it’s the skin I’m trapped in and don’t fit inside of.

“Good. I know it’s a lot at once, but I need you with me on this. You hear me?” he asks.