A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos 2)

“I know that.”

“Hmm. You put more thought into us?”

I sigh. “Jamie, you know how I feel about that.”

“I do, what I want to know is why the change of heart? We’ve been together a year, Blue. I ask you to marry me, and you bail? That’s not even like you.”

I want to tell him what I came to do that night, but I don’t have the heart. “I don’t think our worlds will ever blend harmoniously.”

“You never gave us a chance to. You kept me as far away from them as you could. I’ve briefly met your family a handful of times.”

“And you’re lucky for that. I wanted to spare you from the invasive questioning, cold stares, and tests.”

“I never asked you to do that,” Jamie retorts.

A headache begins to form in my temples. I scrub the plate harder than necessary and take deep breaths. It’s not fair for me to take out my stress on Jamie. The man has been nothing but supportive, and helpful. I don’t know why I’m letting everyone else get inside my head. “You’re my best friend, Jamie. You know that. I just think maybe we’re better off staying that way. You want things I don’t think I can give you.”

“You were giving them to me just fine before.”

“No, we were still figuring things out. When you wanted to get serious, and this thing happened with my sister, it all became clear. My loyalty can’t be to you first.”

“The kid has one more year of school, and he’s done. Plus, isn’t his father coming out soon?”

“Did I say he was the sole reason? You need my loyalty to be to you first. I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Your family can’t keep you warm at night or give you babies, Bluebell. I know you want that. I see it in your eyes when you’re with children.”

The man I’m meant to be with will fit into my world. Our days doing this dance are numbered whether he wants to admit it or not. The thought fills me with peace. It’s time to put this to bed. With my family behind me, and Bolt depending on me, I couldn’t afford to let guilt get in the way anymore.

“You’re letting me come to the party?” Bolt asks again.

“It’s not a trap. I want eyes on you.”

“Awwh, Aunt Blue, where’s the trust?”

“Being rebuilt. I know your mom let you get away with murder. Not so much with me.”

“Trust me, I know,” he mumbles.

“You’ll thank me for it when you’re a productive member of society.”

Bolt walks off to join a few of the other members, prospecting for the first time.

In another year, I know he’ll be one of them. The club is in his veins. There was no other option for him but to earn a patch. The rock music pumping over the speakers travels through my core and vibrates in my chest. The smell of smoke, the heat from bodies, and the aroma of alcohol are a mixture I’ve long become accustomed to.

Jamie coughs from beside me.

“You get used to it,” I call over the loud noise. His ring is resting in a black velvet box in my pocket. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I should feel horrible, but instead I’m free. I nod at the brothers who catch my gaze and give a smile. And home.

“Bluebell!” Stone’s voice booms across the room.

I turn and find myself scooped up in a massive bear hug. “Hey, Stoney,” I say. When I was a girl, I always added a y to his name, and he allowed it. The men were nasty when they needed to be. Larger than life, and bold as brass, but they doted on their children, especially us girls.

He sets me down on my feet and looks over my shoulder. “This still your old man?”

“He—”

“Yes, I am,” Jamie says stepping closer to my side.