A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos 2)

I smirk. She caught on real quick to the whole not asking questions thing. I loved her for it. No matter what happened with the club, she never saw me differently or isolated me. There’d been many friends before her who couldn’t handle it. I reach out and grab her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you.”

“For what, being painfully honest?” Ruthie asks.

“No, ass, for sticking by me.”

“You should know by now I’m not going anywhere, babe. You’re stuck with my crazy ass now.” She wraps her arm around me.

I allow myself to soak up her support and affection. This was exactly what I needed, some tough love and a chance to vent. Time was ticking by fast, and my anxiety was off the charts.

“You ready for tomorrow?” Ruthie asks.

“No. I know the judge is going to throw the book at her, and when her last bit of hope is snatched away, she’s going to go down in a blaze of insanity. You’ve seen her melt down before. It’s not a pretty sight.”

“Shit, is Bolt going to be there?”

“I think he wants to be. I’m torn between protecting him, and overstepping my boundaries. He’s seen so much already, I don’t think I have the right to keep him from going.”

“Did he say why he wants to go?” she asks.

“No. I think in his own way, he wants to lend support and accept his new reality. Right now, we’re in limbo. This will put an end to all that. I think we both need the closure.”

“Promise me one thing, Blue.”

“What?” I ask cautiously.

“You’ll allow yourself to truly be happy. Whatever that means, whoever it hurts. Because you deserve that.”

I know what she’s saying. I look down at my hands. “If it comes to it, I will.” It’s more than a vow to a friend, it’s an agreement with myself. Shadow may have pressed my buttons during our visit, but he was right. We’re not getting any younger, and I’m sick of playing the role of doormat.

“Oh, it will, baby girl. Trust me. I got one of my feelings.” Ruthie nods her head.

“Then God save my soul! Every time you get one of those feelings of yours, it hits the fan.”

“It’s not always bad,” Ruthie protests.

“No, but it’s always something to watch. Jesus, why did you put that curse on me?” I moan.

“You need a little crazy in your life.”

“No. I think I have plenty of crazy going.”

“Not the good kind.” Her eyes glitter with mischief.

“You’re so evil.”

“Shut up, you love me.”

“Love and fear,” I say.

We both burst into giggles and continue to rock back and forth. For a moment, I could let all my worries fade into the background and enjoy the peace that always came when I spent time with my best friend.

Shadow

The gate closes behind me with a final clank. I’m on autopilot as I pass the guards, and collect my belongings. I’m on three years’ probation, which means piss tests and check-ins with my parole officer. It’s a precarious situation to be in when you’re an enforcer.

I’ll have to make sure I’m not caught again.

After I sign my paperwork and change into something not orange for the first time in what feels like forever, I leave behind the concrete and stone that encaged me without hesitation. I don my sunglasses and step out of the building into the sunshine. The heat rolls over my skin, and I take a huge gulp of fresh air, relaxing for the first time I can remember in all those days that blurred together.