A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos 2)

I open my eyes to find us at the local soup and salad bar, Green Things. He remembered. I glance over at him and smile my thanks. Its only about eleven-thirty, so we beat the rush. “This is perfect.”

“I remember how much you enjoyed eating here.”

“Thanks, Jam,” I say. He is sweet. Being with him reminds me of how much I miss his easygoing presence.

Things have been tense in the house, and I avoid Shadow as much as possible. I couldn’t get my shit straight. I’ve been obsessing over Calla’s words since I went to visit her. Was there something the family had kept from me? Did I want to know? I push the thoughts aside. Right now, I’ll take advantage of his laidback nature. Things with him were never hard. That’s what I like most about him. The lack of complexity.

After exiting the car we make our way inside. He holds the door open for me, and we take a seat in the far corner. A bowl of soup and a plate of salad later, we’re settled.

“How have you been?” I ask.

“Good, a little lonely. I mean, I get that you don’t want to be with me in that way, but I miss you, you know? We spent most of our free time together.”

“I know, Jam. I’ve missed you, too.”

“You did?”

“Of course. We were always friends first,” I answer.

“I wasn’t so sure.” He pushes the lettuce around on his plate. “I feel like you tossed me aside and never looked back.”

I lower my head. “I was trying to save you from hurt.”

“Save me, or yourself? Because you weren’t happy when I met you, Blue, not really. You told me time and time again you didn’t feel like you fit in, and now you’re back with them and closing out everyone else.” Jamie shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand. They’re my family, and they need me. Don’t make it sound like I’m an indentured servant. I was at a crossroads in my life when you met me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted or how to go after it.”

“And now you know?”

“Yeah, Jam, I do.”

“You care to enlighten me? Because I thought it was a happy marriage and a family.”

I grit my teeth. “And if it is, do you think I have to do it now?” I stare at him, daring him to tell me I wasn’t getting any younger.

“No. You know I’m not old-fashioned like that. I’m trying to see where your head is at. I don’t want to watch you go from the vibrant woman who loves life to—”

“I won’t. Listen, I know you don’t get how things work with us, but I’m in control of my life. This is what I want to do, more for Bolton than anyone else.”

He scowls. “He’s practically a man, and his father is home now.”

“So I should abandon him? You think a teenage boy doesn’t need a woman’s touch?” I arch my brow.

“I think you take on a lot of responsibilities that you don’t have to be in charge of.”

“I appreciate you looking out for me, Jamie, but I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“Okay.” His body relaxes and he smiles. “I just worry. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

I reach out and pat his hand. “How’s work going?”

“Good, we’re finally closing in on an account we’ve been trying to get for months.”

“That’s fantastic! Once you land it, we should celebrate.”

“I’d like that a lot,” he replies.

We continue to eat and make small talk. It’s slightly awkward, but progress from the last time we were together.