A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos 2)

Battle is a patched brother who’s a living legend. Locked up in the high security penitentiary, he was in for life after he went down for a case of murder no lawyer could get him out of. The blood lust crazy bastard was the warning to patched members about going too far. He crossed a line and never came back from it.

“You see why I kept it from her. That sick son of a bitch. If he ever got wind of the truth, we’d all be up shit creek.” His voice is low and gravelly. “I could get my ink taken for this, fucking with a brother’s family. But your mother begged me to take Calla on as mine and put my last name behind her, so I did.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. That whole family is off. I’m always looking at her wondering if this shit is just in her blood. It’s awful I know, but I can’t help it.”

“How did she find out?”

“The damndest thing. The one fucking time she pays attention in school we end up in a total shit storm. She gets our blood type for a project. I’m A+ and your mom is AB+, she’s O positive. It ain’t possible. Nothing we could say in the face of that.”

“No one knows?”

“And they can’t.” He narrows his eyes and his voice lowers to a gravelly growl.

“Dad, I get that. I just…” I shake my head.

“Once she found out, she went off the rails and held the threat over us. We had to handle her with kid gloves. There was so much at risk and she was too young and immature to fully grasp it. I wanted to ring her damn neck. But I had to keep my distance, so I let the corralling fall to you. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best we could swing. Your mom felt so got damn guilty, she bent over backward to kiss Calla’s ass, making the entire thing worse. What the girl needed was an ass whooping and a wakeup call years ago.”

“And now?”

He shakes his head. “No she’s behind bars getting even crazier than she already was. But when she gets out, Bolton will be a man. Hopefully, she’ll have grown the fuck up, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on that shit.”

Suddenly, so much made sense. I rest my hands on my thighs as I try to take it all in. My entire life I’d suffered because of an unfortunate birthright. “Why didn’t you tell us or me? All this time she knew and I was in the dark. Do you know what it was like for me being in her shadow? It felt like I was trying to undo all the bad she did. I didn’t get to be a teenager. You’re all about living free, and you doomed me to live in a cage of your making.” I jump up from the couch. “This is bullshit.”

“Girl, you better watch your tone. I didn’t want this. I should’ve stopped it earlier. I admit it. Guilt makes you do a lot of things. Part of me liked that you were on the up and up. I had a lot of pride for your accomplishments. But I never knew you felt the weight like this.”

“I thought I had to be perfect. Do you know what that feels like? The weight of the world on tiny shoulders. God! I feel like I haven’t ever lived and I’m almost in

my mid-thirties. I can’t believe you kept this from me. All this time, I wondered what I did to make her hate me.”

“It was never you.”

Fury made me see red. “I’ve wasted so much time and energy on this. No more. I will never be that perfect shell of a person again. You hear me?” I stand up from the couch. “I’m going to live my life how I see fit, and you aren’t going to say shit about it.”

My father holds out his hands. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

“You had a real shitty way of showing it, Dad. All I ever wanted to do was please you and make you and Mom proud. But it was like, no matter what, Calla was the star. She got all the attention, and anytime she didn’t fuck up…she was lavished with praise. Me? I was expected to do that, it was no big deal. Just Bluebell being Bluebell. I mean, why wouldn’t she be perfect? Little Miss Book Worm with her prim and proper edict. I didn’t fit into the civilian world and I didn’t fit into our world. It was a lonely place. For better or worse, I can’t live there anymore.”

“Babe, no one was asking you to do that in the first place.”

“Yeah, you were. Not in so many words, but here,” I gesture toward his eyes, “I saw it daily. You tell Mom I knew. I always thought she liked Calla better.”

“It was never about that.”

“Yeah, I get it. Guilt is a hell of a thing.”

My dad grits his teeth.

I know I’m pushing his buttons. He’ll let me have a little more leeway before he reels me in. It’s not him I’m angry at, not really. Mom placed him in a precarious situation and he did the best he could with it, and with my volatile sister.

“Did you always know? You said she asked you to play along and you did. But I got to tell you, Pop, it doesn’t sound much like you.”

He snickers. “Always too smart for your own good. It came out in the wash like everything else, little girl. I didn’t know there were doubts at all. Then Calla started to grow and I saw things, so I asked Pixie and she told me. I knew it then. But what’s DNA after you raised a child up? Nothing. I never wanted it to change shit. Your sister saw it as a betrayal like we lied to her and ruined her life. I think the pressure of having that crazy son of a bitch for her father drove her down the path he led.” Suddenly, he looks run down and old. The lines around his mouth and eyes stand out a little bit more. There seems to be more silver than black in his hair. It must’ve been a punch to the gut.

“I’m not mad at you, Pop. I get that you did the best, but this knowledge would’ve change everything for me. I have to figure out who I am outside of this role. I want to see where this thing with Shadow goes and I need your backing. I don’t know how people will react. What Calla will do. For once, I need you in my corner, Pops. Can you do that?”

“I always got your six, baby girl. Never doubt that for a minute.”