“Pumpkin, what’s wrong?” Hi
s gentle tone is an abrasion against an irritated area.
“Everything about this new business venture is absolute bullshit, Dad.”
“Watch your mouth, little girl.”
“No,” I bark. I shake my head from side to side and let it rip. “How dare you give them a second truck when I’ve yet to get mine. You made us a deal. We go to school, put the work in, make the plan, and we get our own truck. I’ve worked just as hard as everyone else, patiently waiting my turn, and then you pull this. I mean, did you ever intend to hold up your end of the bargain when it comes to me? This was a kick in the teeth. You have to see that!” I throw my hands up above my head and let them slap down on my thighs. The crack echoes through the room and the sting of pain adds to my hurt.
“I didn’t realize you felt so strongly about the second truck. This wasn’t personal. It was a good business decision. The time was right for them to expand. Any longer and they’d be losing business. We both saw they’d outgrown just one. You have to strike while the iron is hot. I taught all of you that.”
“I could give you that if you had a plan for mine waiting in the wings. You have one, right? You know, when I’ll be launching my truck solo. ’Cause you’ve thought about my path toward running my own business, right?”
He opens his mouth and closes it. He averts his eyes, unable to hold my gaze as the silence deafens.
“See, that,” I point my finger, “is what I thought. I’m done.” Shaking my head, I sneer at the man I held up as my champion. The one I’d tried to alter myself to please, and worked myself to near collapse in horribly failed attempts to gain his favor and attention.
“Are you giving me your resignation?” His shoulders tense and his voice takes on a hint of panic.
Not yet. “No, I’m declaring my independence. Shayne is doing well. We lucked out with him. He’s a fast learner and a hard worker. He’ll be ready when the time comes to run a crew and do it the Fresco way. I guarantee you that. Remember, you made your choices … because from now on, I’ll be making mine.”
Done with the conversation, I turn and open the door. One of my father’s biggest flaws has always been his inability to apologize.
“Xia.”
Stopping, I glance over my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
The two words I’ve longed to hear, do little to repair the fissures that have occurred in our relationship. Too little too late, with no action to fix the damage done.
“Me too.” I walk out feeling stronger. I’m convinced now more than ever that the steps I’m taking are the right ones for me. It’s nearly a foreign concept, doing things where I place myself first. That saddens me. The tinge of guilt clings tightly to the self-involved thoughts running through my head. I struggle against my desire to people please. It’s now or never. If I don’t choose myself, how can I ever expect anyone else to? We all have our scars and burdens to bear. I refuse to remain imprisoned by mine.
***
“Jas, I think I screwed up.”
“With what?” she asks, peering up from the Little Mermaid tank top in her hand.
“Shayne.”
She smiles. “So, we’re talking about him again? I thought you said he’d been a good boy since you went out?”
“He has. That’s not it.”
“Okay?” She inclines her head.
I sigh. “The dynamics are different between us.”
“I’d think that would be a good thing. It’d be miserable if you couldn’t get along.”
I think of the flutters in my stomach when his body brushes mine, and the way my heart speeds when he jokes. We’ve created our own world in the truck, and I like it more than I should.
“It is, and it isn’t.”
“Okay, Riddler. Do you want to be more specific?” Jas asks, exasperated.
“He’s …” My tongue ties and I shake my head as I try to explain his charisma and wit. “Charismatic and attractive, and we’re in a small space working closely together.”