“It’s my past. I never … I didn’t know we would get this deep.”
“This didn’t happen overnight.” Her face contorts into an expression of disgust that makes my stomach ache.
“How could I risk ruining this? You’re the only woman I have ever loved.”
“No!” She jumps up, and the chair clatter to the floor. “You do not get to tell me that.” Her shrill cry is nails on a chalkboard. She has a manic appearance that shakes me. I’ve never seen her like this before.
“It’s true.” Standing, I grab her arm.
She shakes free. “So I’m what … a pet project? An experiment?” she whispers darkly.
“You are the love of my life.” Smack. My head jerks to the right under her palm. I blink, stunned by her violence. I grab her wrist.
“Do not do that again. Now you know everything.” And I wish you didn’t. Tears pour down her face. Her shoulders shake as the sobs spill forth. I drop her hand and swipe at them with my thumbs. “I never wanted to hurt you. I wish to God I could erase this and make it like it never happened.”
“But you can’t.” She speaks through gritted teeth.
“No, I can’t,” I agree.
“It makes me sick to think about.”
I rest my forehead against hers. “Me too.”
She pulls away and something in my heart breaks. “I can’t. I?” She shakes her head. “This is too much.”
“That’s why I wanted to wait until after the contest.”
Looking up at the ceiling, she takes deep breaths. “I’m not touching this now. I can’t. I have to focus on this contest. But I refuse to pretend like we’re okay.”
I stiffen. “Are you trying to break up with me?”
“No. Yes. I don’t.” She covers her face and shakes her head.
“I won’t be the reason your dream stalls, Xia. But trust we are nowhere near finished with this.”
“You don’t get to make that call.”
“The hell I don’t.”
“You should go.”
“Xia.”
“Now,” she barks.
I grind my teeth. “I can’t. You drove me here, remember?”
“Why don’t you call one of your uncles?”
The frosty tone sets me off.
I stalk toward her, and she retreats until her back is up against the wall. Placing an arm on either side of her, I press our lower bodies together. “I know you’re upset right now. You have every right to be, but don’t pretend that it takes away from everything we’ve built. That bond still exists, and I will not give it up easily. You want me to leave, I’ll make arrangements. But I will never allow you to shut me out.”
I take a step back, keeping my hands at my side to resist the temptation to touch her. It feels like we’re entering the intermission of a fight. There’s so much unsaid. The pressure is like a heavy velvet curtain settling over us. She’s only three feet away, but the emotional distance might as well be miles.
You will not win this time, Dad. I’m getting my woman back.
Chapter Ten