“You say this, and yet you bail at a time when she needs you most? The path you mentioned is hers to pave. Do you honestly believe you know better than her what she wants? That’s mighty presumptuous. Is that a word you can identify with?” I say, disgusted.
He gives a bitter laugh. “I’m the bad guy, am I? You all want to blow smoke up her ass. To let her believe in unicorns and magic. I know the harsh reality. What happens when it all crashes down? Who picks up the pieces and puts her back together?”
“So does she. She’s going into this with eyes wide open, but her heart full of hope. Where’s the harm in that?” I don’t want to see the sunlight set in her eyes. Regardless of if she wins this, she needs the opportunity to try. To be denied that very basic right is a completely screwed way of thinking.
“Xia doesn’t have the guts for this. She’s too soft and passive with too many stars in her eyes. It’s not a place for most women, and especially not her. It’ll eat her alive, and when it does, the blood will be on your hands.” He walks off with his hands shoved in his pocket. A dark omen delivering a message of peril.
She’s hidden herself away for so long, her own father doesn’t know who she really is. What is it about our fathers that make them want to mold us into who they think we ought to be, instead of letting us figure it out for ourselves?
I drain the rest of my drink as I watch the moon. I’ll do everythi
ng in my power to make sure Xia succeeds. I want to invest in her dream and prove to myself I have the ability to be better. To create and assist in something more than gun runs, money collection, and strong-armed tactics. I can ride, shoot, and fuck with the best of them. I need to be more than the man he created. If he remains hidden inside of me, I’m not fit to touch Xia.
Her words flung in anger hit their target. What if I reverted? Were the lies buried deep down inside of me, etched on my marrow, a filth I could never truly cleanse myself free of? I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants. It’s my biggest fear that my father lurks inside of me waiting to get out. Once you sell your soul to the devil, you can’t take it back so easily. It doesn’t matter if it is your parent who did the bargaining, the contract holds.
***
Only love could get me out of my bed at five in the morning in a black T-shirt with a unicorn on the front to deal with annoying people hell-bent on getting the scoop. We’re briefed in a tiny room that goes over television etiquette and rules. I want to come out of my skin by the time we get to head to one of the rented trucks.
“Oh.” Xia covers her mouth as we walk toward the truck decorated to be Magical Munchies.
“It’s beautiful, Xi,” Jasmine whispers. The two hug as they take in the truck. I glance over at Andy, not sure if I should interrupt their moment or not.
“Welcome to my life. Forever waiting on these two.” Andy nod toward the girls.
I snicker. “Worth it though.”
“No doubt.”
“We can hear you,” Jasmine says.
“And so it begins. Vaya con Dios, mi amigo.” Andy pats my shoulders.
I shrug. “It can’t be that bad.”
“Ha. Being in a small space with these two all day competing. You’re going to need God on your side,” he states quietly. I can’t tell if he’s giving me a heads up or seeing what I’m made of.
“Pretty sure I got this one, brother.”
“Mmhmm, I’ll see you later on. Good luck, guys.” He kisses Xia on the forehead and plants one on Jas.
So that’s how he shuts her up.
“I want you to go in and make sure you have everything you need,” our coordinator, Kim, says.
The next fifteen minutes are full of busy work as we go over the truck from top to bottom like it’s a new apartment we’re moving into. It’s incredible how much the viewer doesn’t see. A few hours later we’re all gathered in front of the truck with tapes rolling as they announce our challenge of the day.
“All right, contestants, for our first challenge we’re going to have you all add a breakfast burrito to your menu. Nothing says Southern California like a good breakfast burrito. Each of you will start off with five-hundred dollars to shop. You’ll be stationed in front of Grand Park. The faster you get there and set up, the quicker you can sell. Remember the money you make will be what you can reinvest into your truck. So get on social media, rally your followers, and come up with a game plan.”
We jog back to the truck and board up.
“I’ll navigate, and you drive,” Xia says. She’s in boss lady mode. I’d be hard if I let the blood rush down. Right now, I got to be solid. We can celebrate later. I pull away from the curb, and we integrate into traffic. After my time here in L.A., I won’t be complaining about traffic anymore back home.
“My plan is to shop locally. To keep as much money as possible, we’ll head to the Mexican Market. We’ll be able to get everything we need fresh for less. If we’re going L.A., avocados are essential, and chorizo. We’ll do a nice breakfast hash to go with them and make eggs you-pick style, so the health conscious folks have options. We’ll also keep the coffee flowing. A good cup will make you stand out. It’s why I made sure we could serve a good cup. You know we have to be stimulated and caffeinated all the time here in L.A.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I reply honestly.
“And it’s one of the things I like most about you.”