Twist of Fate (Kings of Chaos 6)

“Don’t turn away from me.”

“I don’t deserve that look.”

“Yes, you do. You making me work for it isn’t a bad thing. You’re my Odyssey. My journey after the war toward home. I never knew what a real home would look, feel, or smell like. When I met you, I began to dream.” He kneels in front of me. “Will you take this trip to the underworld with me?”

Not able to speak, I nod my head. The man is a walking mystery. Taking his hand, I follow him out the door and back through the crowded building. We’re going back to where everything started. I’m not sure either of us is prepared for the final voyage.

We pull up to a white one-story, single-family home with green grass neatly trimmed. It’s cute.

“This is it?”

“The three bedroom, one and a half bath where I learned everything wrong? Yeah.”

“It isn’t what I expected,” I murmur, too stunned to hide my real response.

“Looks can be deceiving. Don’t feed into the image exterior projects. We do that on purpose, you know? Make everything pretty on the outside, so no one thinks to take a closer look.” He holds out his hand, and I’m shocked by the slight tremor running through it.

“You see a house. I see a portal to hell.” He takes a shaky breath, and I know he’s fighting for every step he takes forward. We reach the front porch, and he pulls the keys out from his pocket. The jangle breaks the stillness of the night as he struggles to fit the key into the lock. I place my hand over his, and the tremors subside. Together we unlock the door and push it open. A musty scent of stale air and dust rush out to meet us. He hits a light switch beside the door, and I take in the framed pictures along the wall in the hallway.

The sight of a Hispanic woman between them gives me pause.

“Wait, is that …”

“My mother? Yes.”

“What the actual fuck?”

He snickers. “Yeah, didn’t make a lot of sense until we came to understand my father while passably white was, in fact, half black.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I croak.

“No, he hated himself most of all. All that loathing was turned outward to others. It wasn’t a connection I could make until the truth came to light.”

“You went your entire life never knowing?”

“Yeah. I’m not surprised he never wanted to try for more kids. My brother and I were a fluke.”

He steps farther into the house, and I follow behind, silent. The walls and tables tell the story of a man who started off proud of both boys and at some point switched all his affection and approval to Shayne.

“What happened between your father and Joel?”

“Notice that, huh? He fell in love with his current wife and told dad all his racist ranting was rubbish. Dad didn’t take it too well. I think that’s when he started in on me hardcore. He wasn’t going to lose another son to a world full of backward thinking. I never questioned it. I wanted to make my daddy proud.” He runs a hand through his hair. “When my dad was happy, he lit up. His approval was the sunshine, and I was a plant which needed it to live. We have no other family, and he pitted us against each other. I took the bait. I felt good being the golden boy. Before I could never live up to Joel. I mean, his very nickname was a reflection on my brother. He’s Echo because he parroted my father who was Mouth. I couldn’t compete until he fell from grace.”

“That’s not your fault. He was wrong to manipulate you two that way. Our parents are the ones we trust implicitly. You have to stop taking the blame for the evil he created, spewed, and continued. If Joel didn’t fall in love with his wife, would he have opened his eyes?”

“I … I don’t know. I never thought of that,” he says softly.

Seeing him this conflicted as we walk the floor of his childhood home I realize how much of a victim he was, too.

“I never thought about the people we were hurting, and now every time I look at you I think about all the times I should’ve stepped up. I should’ve stood against him, Xia.” His voice breaks. He swipes the collection of photos off a table. They fly against the wall, shattering, and he goes down on one knee and drops his head.

“I hate him for what he’s done, for being gone, and for leaving me with all of this. For loving him as much as I hate him. What’s wrong with me? How can I be so conflicted? He was a horrible human being, and now I’m a man stuck in between.”

I place my hand on his shoulder and cup his face, tilting his head up. “No matter his flaws he was your father. You have to let this go. You don’t need to atone for his sins. You live your life. With me and move forward.”

His glossy gaze locks onto mine. “With you?”

I nod my head. I never want to see him like this again. “We’re done letting him win, Shayne.” I mean every word I spoke. Being upset at him for the things his father instilled was pointless and painful for us both. He’ll never be able to erase his past, but he’s already risen above it.