“I don’t understand this, Jagger. It makes no sense.”
“Does it need to?”
“I made a life out of things that make sense.”
“And yet, there’s sadness in your eyes that tells me all the care and consideration you put into your decisions didn’t make you happy in the end.”
She gives a hollow laugh. “Understatement.”
“We’re both out of our depth. It puts us on even ground. What’s going on with you today?”
“My daughter announced her college. She’ll be moving to Virginia after the summer. I’m still reeling from it.”
“First child?”
“Only.”
“That must be hard.”
She nods. “We’re very close, but I understand her need for distance.”
“It’s a kid’s rite of passage to leave and spread their wings.”
“I know, but I’ve lost…a lot recently. It feels like another blow to the system. Of course, I didn’t let her know that.”
“Because you’re a good mom.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“It’s written all over your face when you talk about her, believe me. She’s lucky to have a parent who cares so much. Plenty of kids out there don’t get that.”
Her expression softens, and her eyes fill with pride. “It never feels like enough. When they’re younger, you change their diapers, nurse them, and keep them safe. As they get older, it all becomes more complex and seemingly impossible. You can’t cocoon them in bubble wrap and be there every moment of the day. You have to trust them to make the right decisions, and when they don’t, you have to let them know you‘ll always be there and love them, but it’s not okay. I lucked up with my daughter. She’s never given me too much drama or stepped too far off the path.”
I’m almost envious of the love I can see clearly on her face. What would it be like to have that? I slowly reach out, place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze.
“The two of you will be fine.”
“Yeah, that’s what Jess keeps saying.”
“Where is Jess?”
“Spending the day with her Godchild and secretly giving me time to decompress before my crazy spills out all over the place.”
“Come on, let’s get you some candy.”
“What?”
“You can’t be sad when eating candy. It’s been scientifically proven.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeap.” I pop the p, and she laughs. It makes me feel victorious, and I haven’t done a thing really. I place a hand on the small of her back. She tenses but relaxes, and I hold my position as I guide her to Cousin’s Candy. We step inside the building and the heaviness lifts. The wooden trough and baskets house old-fashioned candy along with giant glass jars. They have it all. Everything from salt water taffy, licorice of all flavors to the more modern pop rocks and lollipop lines the shelves.
“I love Saltwater Taffy,” she says.
“Then we have a starting point.” I guide her over to the area, and her face lights up.
“There are so many good flavors.”