Walk the Line (Kings of Chaos 5)

“She says when it happens I’ll know and it’ll change my view on everything.” Jess sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Maybe she’s right. She looked at your dad at thirteen and told him, I’m going to marry you one day, boy, and five years later, she sure as hell did.”

“That was a different time. I think we’ve been told we can have it all and it’s not realistic. It’s why divorce is so prevalent. We have to be willing to meet in the middle, compromise and give up a few things. I don’t know if I am.”

“For the right man who was doing the exact same thing for you?”

She sighs. “Maybe, or maybe I’m just selfish, and I should be alone.”

“Now that’s the small town we grew up in talking. Chasing your dream, fulfilling yourself, and gaining an independent financial security before you pursue love is not a bad thing. How can you give yourself to someone when you’re still trying to figure out who you are, and what you want? Everyone’s journey is different. Don’t be hard on yourself because yours is unique. To be made for you it couldn’t be the run of the mill.”

“You always have the right words to make me feel better.”

“Ditto, babe.”

“Enough touchy feely. Hook me up with a biker before I leave. I want to mark it off my bucket list.”

“Why would my mom know a biker?” Whitney mumbles as she stumbles into the room with heavy-lidded eyes.

“You want breakfast, baby?” I ask as I stand to make her a plate.

“Yes, please. What’s up with you and bikers?”

“Yes, what is up with that?” Jesse asks placing her hand on her fist as she flutters her long lashes.

In for a penny, in for a pound. I pop two Eggos into the toaster, grab a banana and pour a cup of coffee with cream and sugar.

“I have a new friend I’ve been spending time with.”

“Oh my God, I knew it! You never text, and I’ve heard you giggle a few times.” Whitney points at me. “But wait, this guy is a biker? How did you even meet him? What’s his name? Is this like…serious?”

The toaster pops, and I turn, stalling as I finish compiling her breakfast. I slide the plate over to her.

“Aunt Jess and I met him when we went out for a girl’s night. His name is Freeze, and I don’t know what we are. We hang out, do fun things, and text back and forth. He knows I’m not looking to jump into a relationship. He’s not either.”

“Does he know about me?” Whitney asks.

“A little. He knows I have a daughter, but I never get too deep.”

“Why not?” she asks picking up her Eggo and taking a monster-sized bite.

“Because I don’t know him that well yet, and I want to keep you safe.”

“Mom. At this point, it’d be pretty hard for something worse to happen to this family.”

Her sarcasm stings. “Whitney?”

“What? Are we going to pretend Dad didn’t snap and try to kill you? We go off to our separate doctors, purge, and return home where we avoid the topic altogether.”

“I’m always here to listen.”

“I don’t want you to listen. I want you to talk. Share with me. Tell me how you feel. Because I know you’re not okay. You act like you are, but that’s bullshit.”

“Whitney Pearl!”

“No Mama. You want me to tell you how I feel? Well, this is it. Stop acting like you’re Superwoman and be real with me.” She slams her palms down on the counter, and I blink.

I place a hand on my chest as I begin to hyperventilate.