“Yes, Sir,” I whisper steel trying to recover from the blow.
“I’m sorry this wasn’t better news.”
Me too.
“Thank you, Detective. I appreciate you keeping me in the loop.” The older man with graying black hair, kind brown eyes that had seen too much, and a relatively fit frame had been a godsend. I truly felt he wanted to catch Brooks. I hang up, shell-shocked and on edge. I was certain he’d be as far away as possible by now. Has he been lurking in town this entire time? Was he stalking me? I stumble into my room like a zombie as the panic sets in. Closing the door behind myself, I slid to the floor, and place my spinning head between my knees as I struggle to breathe around the massive weight sitting on my chest. I clench and unclench my fists as I battle the familiar tightening and heat flashes going off in my body.
My brain is too crowded. I cover my mouth to hide the sobs that escape between gasps for air. Just like that he’s stolen my peace. The very thought of him anywhere near me sends me into meltdown mode. No one can know. I refuse to let him ruin this for Whitney. I focus on counting as I wrestle with my breathing. I can do this. I have to. Inhale. Exhale. There’s enough air. I can breathe. I struggle through the episode and rush to my bag to erase the signs of the break with eye drops and make-up wipes. A few more days and Whitney will be settled in, and I’ll have the entire drive home to agonize. I ignore Dr. Adam’s voice in my head, telling me bottling things up only leads to more problems down the road. I have to function. That’s the only thing on my mind right now. I place a hand onto my queasy stomach. I wonder once more what his plan for me was. Would he have hidden my body, or told the police I had an accident? And to what ends? What had he expected to gain? Is he coming back to finish the job? I remind myself it was a tip. They turn out to be hearsay more times than not, right? Silence is my only answer.
***
I thought I was prepared for this day, but I was dead wrong. I hesitate inside the cheery dorm room. The mirror has been hung, the desk is organized, and the bed has been made with the cute black and white polka dot bedding and accent pillows. Her clothes have been put away in her drawer, and every inch of the space has been cleaned to my specifications.
The only thing left to do is leave her here to wait for her roommate to arrive. My stomach clenches. My daughter is starting her first year of college at the college of William and on the other side of the country in Williamsburg, Virginia on a full ride. I’m proud, sad, and scared to not be a phone call away. After all the drama in San Diego, I understand her need for distance, but it’s been a tough pill to swallow.
I turn to her. “So this is see you later.”
Her lower lip trembles. “Hey, no tears, sweetie. You’re going to slay this year, and I am always a phone call away.”
She nods her head. “I know. I just. I’m going to miss you so much.”
“I’m going to miss you too,” I say as we huge tightly. Staying will prolong the painful experience for both of us. I hug until she lets go, and I step back, swiping at my eyes. “I think I sprang a leak.
“Must be a contagious virus,” she agrees. The week we’ve shared was our long goodbye. Being on the road with my baby was a much-needed girl’s vacation. We bonded and expelled the demons we’d both been holding too close to our chest.
I sniff. “Okay, I’m actually leaving this time. I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”
“Love you too Mama.”
I kiss her forehead and step back. Walking out of the room is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I dig my fingernails into my palms and keep my smile pasted on my lips. I make it inside the car before I break down. I rest my head against the steering wheel, start the car up and crank the AC. I don’t have to be hot and miserable. I call the one person who’ll make me feel better.
“Is she settled?” Jagger says.
“Yes.” I choke on my tears.
“Aww, B. You okay?”
“I will be. I’m happy for her. I really am. But oh my God, am I going to miss her.”
“I’ll make sure you’re plenty occupied.”
The sexually charged sentence makes me laugh, despite myself. “You’re awful.”
“Awfully smart. Yeah, I am. Listen, I’ll call you, later on, tonight. Right now I’m at work.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey, never be sorry for needing me.”
His words melt me like chocolate in th
e sun. He doesn’t even have to try. I used to think it was game. A repertoire he’d learned to use on women. After seeing him with the Kings. I know it’s not true. Cheered by my daily dose of Jagger, I pull myself together. A nagging voice says I should talk about the possible sighting, but I slap a piece of duct tape on her mouth and shove her in a trunk. She can come out when I get back home and have a session with Dr. Adams.
Chapter Eight
Freeze
“Girl, just go check on the stock in the back,” I bark at Tinley. She’s catching hell from me. I’m in a shit mood, and her hovering has my close to the edge. I know she wants to do well here. Dixie Rose left some big shoes to fill, but I’m not about to be micromanaged by a child. The twenty-two-year-old might be great with numbers and have years of experience, but if she doesn’t learn how to work with me, she’s going to get her feelings hurt.