“Yes, he has an assistant during the day, and we work closely with him to make sure he has everything he needs to help make his life easier. I love that our center does consultations on equipment. It makes us a full stop. I think that’s part of the healing, getting the complete picture and remaining with the people you trust.”
“You never get sad?”
“Only when we have those people who come in and don’t really want help. Those are hard. Sometimes they turn around, and other times they don’t.” I close my eyes and lean back against the couch.
“Is that why you quit before?”
“Yes, I had two really tough cases back to back, and I was stretched thin between my job, all of the functions I had to attend with Brooks, and all of Whitney’s activities. I could have hired help, but I wasn’t going to let someone else raise her. I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I felt like I was missing out on too much. It was the right choice. I think we were all happier for the reprieve.”
“And you didn’t mind it?”
“No, I was happy to take a step back from being Super Woman for a while.”
“If you loved being a mom so much, why didn’t you have more children?”
“I think part of me knew things weren’t that great between Brooks and I. Sure, we had money, but I was virtually a single parent in so many ways. It wasn’t what I signed up for.” The present me surfaces.
“Tell me what you wanted.”
“To raise a family together. I’m a simple girl. I wanted family dinners, outings, birthdays where I make the cake, and cheesy weekend trips, and vacations. I always thought I’d have a mid-sized family in a life full of love and laughter. I couldn’t care less about how wealthy Brooks was. I liked that he made me laugh, accepted me, quirks and all, and I believed at the time, wanted the same things I did.”
“And now you don’t?”
“I think he tricked me into getting what he needed. A nice, naïve, proper southern wife who could hold down the fort, make him look good, and raise his child. He was always going to do what he wanted.”
“That’s fucked up, B.”
“So are a lot of other things in the world.”
“That’s not you talking, B.”
“When it comes to this it is. I wasted so many years on this man. I refuse to let him have a moment more of my life. It sickens me to think of how long I lived in darkness, and then denial. I always made excuses for him. Work kept him away. He was too preoccupied with his patients to remember our anniversary. But hey, at least his secretary thought to send flowers and pick out a gift. I got some dope pieces of jewelry from her.”
“Jesus, baby.”
“I wanted him to be someone he wasn’t, and in doing that, I made a prison for myself.”
“What changed?”
“Realizing Whitney was watching my every move. Thinking about what I was teaching her, and how I’d feel if a man every tried to treat her the way her father did me. I knew then I had to be stronger. That’s why I confronted him that night. I wanted him to know I wasn’t that stupid girl he married. I knew what he was doing, and I was done turning a blind eye.”
J covers my shoulders with his hands and massages the tension from them. “You know what happened then?”
“I do.”
I nod my head. “Then I don’t need to go into details.”
“If he ever comes near you or Whitney again, I’m putting him in the ground where no one will find him.”
“You don’t know the kind of money his parents have.”
“B, I don’t give a fuck if his father is the President of the United States. He comes near you, and they won’t have to worry about trying to find him again, ‘cause he will permanently disappear off the face of this planet. I don’t make threats. I keep promises.”
It should sicken me, but it doesn’t. Knowing this man who just gently twisted my hair would kill to protect me, and my daughter only makes me more certain with him is exactly where I need to be. I lean my head back and meet his gaze.
“If you ever see or even get the slightest inclining he’s around, you call me, or the clubhouse. Then you come to my work or the club.”
“You’ve seen how jumpy I can be.”