I nod my head. I trust her to be straight with me. “Tell me the chances of me walking again, in your opinion.”
“It’s too soon to tell—”
“Best and worst case, B,” I snap.
“Partial injury, it
looks pretty good. I mean…the odds of you being exactly like you were…slim, but you could regain so many of your abilities.”
“Worse.”
“Complete injury… You’re going to be in a chair.”
I flinch.
“But you have something most people don’t.”
“Oh yeah. What’s that? Shitty luck?”
“No, a licensed physical therapist who works at a center that specializes in spinal cord injuries.”
“Which means you understand how screwed I am. No, we are. Were. ” I give a harsh laugh. “It’s a good thing we never got to that tattoo.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look at me, Blanche. What good am I to you, huh? How can I protect or provide for you? You know if I can’t ride, I can’t be a patched member, right? Everything I’ve built up over the past ten years is gone. What do you want to stick around for? To support me with your money? Wipe my ass for me and watch me turn into a shadow of my former self. I refuse to let you do that.”
“Stop this.” Her voice shakes.
I refuse to look at her. “No. This is reality.”
“You love me, and I love you—”
“And when has that ever been enough for anyone. You know better than most.”
She gasps.
I’ve struck the chord I was aiming for. I’m a master at breaking people down, mentally and physically. “You should bail ‘cause the ship is sinking. Get out.”
“What.”
“Get out,” I bark.
“I’m not.”
“Get out. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you.” I turn to her, and she stumbles away. The broken expression on her face and the trail of tears are a punch to my gut as she backs out of the room. I grip the rails of my bed and bow my head as I fight back the tears burning my eyes.
“I see you’re awake, Mr. Ryan.”
I look up and see the doctor I vaguely remember speaking to me.
“Doctor…”
“Simmons. I imagine you woke up and realized you couldn’t feel your legs. Knowing your fiancée is a physical therapist, I assume she gave you the run down. Let me give you some advice. The thing you’re going to need most is support. So maybe running off the person who’s been by your side since the accident isn’t the smartest first move. You’ve got every right to be angry. But taking it out on the woman who clearly loves you. She knows exactly what you’re going to need. Her knowledge and experience are invaluable.”
“I’m not going to let her ruin her life.”
“Shouldn’t you let her decide that? She knows exactly what she’d be in for and if she couldn’t handle it, she probably wouldn’t have made it her career.”