I surface from the dream trembling, sick to my stomach, and covered in a fine sheen of sweat. I roll from the bed, and stumble to the bathroom. I turn on the taps and slip into the warm water, washing away the bitterness gathered in my mouth like sour candy. Soaping up my loofa, I let the scent of lavender calm me as I struggle to find my balance. Time is running out. The truth will be so much worse coming from an outside source.
Despite his fame and fortune, I’ve always been ashamed of my father. If I could emancipate myself from him and pretend he never existed, I would. Unfortunately, life is a cruel bitch who never forgets. We have to roll with the hand we’re dealt. I’ll tell him before the wedding. It gives me a little more time to figure out the delivery. I have to make him understand. The same way our relationship caught Skull by surprise, it did me as well. I didn’t intentionally keep this from him. I never thought we’d be serious enough for him to need to know. The thought sounds lame to me. So I know he won’t buy it. I have a few months to make this thing so steady—my lies of omission won’t sink it.
***
Skull
“You want to clue me in on what this is all about?” Stone asks pausing in the doorway of my very empty dorm room.
“Trying to work some things out with Ruthie.”
“I wasn’t aware it had gotten that serious,” Stone says as he leans against the doorframe and crosses his ankles.
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. This life isn’t for everyone. I need her to get a good taste of it before I decide on my next step.”
Stone nods. “I don’t have much to say. She’s been on the outskirts for a long time. I never had a complaint about her or a reason to doubt her. At the same time, I don’t know much. Her being Blue’s friend wasn’t a big deal. Her being an Old Lady is a different story. You need to make sure you look into that before you put any kind of claim on her other than girlfriend. I’m not trying to have any more surprises roll up on us.”
“I get you, Prez,” I say.
“Damn, I know I’m getting old when you start growing up and thinking about settling down. I never thought I’d see the day.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, me neither.”
“Let us know if you need anything,” Stone says before he slips off.
I breathe a sigh of relief. He could’ve handed me my ass. Luckily, he was in a good mood.
I study the dorm that’s been mine since I was in my mid-twenties. I prospected at twenty-one after being a hang around for almost two years. Grandpa taught me his trade. I got by on it, but it didn’t fulfill me. When I came in to do some wiring work at the clubhouse and clicked with some of the boys it had been an ‘aha’ moment. I got in with them and never looked back. I knew my grandparents wanted more for me, but they supported me nonetheless. I tried to keep the shadier side of shit from them, but they were sharp.
“Damn, so the rumors are true?”
I smirk at the sight of my brother, and Sponsor, Riker.
“Looks like.”
Riker steps inside. “I thought you were going to be a lifetime bachelor.”
“Me too, until I wasn’t.”
Riker chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I wasn’t looking for shit when I met Mi. Now, I can barely remember a time when she wasn’t around. Ruthie has always been good people. She stood with Blue when the people in this town thought she was trash because of the club. Should be a decent Old Lady if that’s where you end up taking it.”
“Yeah. You got a minute, brother? Need to get some shit off my chest.”
Riker steps in and closes the door behind him.
“Ruthie is knocked up, brother.”
“Oh, fuck. Anyone else know?” he asks. Being my sponsor, Riker knew all about my history, just as Stone did.
I nod. “Just Shadow and Blue.”
“You all right with that?”
“I’m a fucking wreck, dude. I don’t want to become my father, and I don’t want to pass my shit down.”
“How far long is she?”
“No clue, just took the test yesterday. She’s got an appointment Monday.”