“Church every Sunday, Wednesday, and any other time they needed help. Volunteer work and super conservative clothes. If we ever rebelled, she brought up our father and the dangers of bucking the system.”
“You don’t talk about him much,” Skull reminds me.
“I try to pretend he doesn’t exist. He put us through hell with his drug use, self-centered, philandering and verbal abuse. He never hit her, but he demolished her with words sharp enough to rip her to shreds. He taught my sister and I that men hurt, and to never depend on them. He and my mother were high school sweethearts. It was great for a time. Then he stared a downward spiral he never got out of.”
“Do you ever see him?” Skull asks.
“Not if I can help it.”
“What does he do?”
“Works as a freelance writer. He does well for himself and gets to live a nomadic life. I guess that’s what makes him happy.”
“Huh.”
Tell him. It’s the perfect opportunity to reveal my father’s identity. The words stick in my throat. I’m not ready, but my time is ticking down. We’ve upped the getting to know you process. Skull hasn’t said anything out loud, but I know he needs to tell Stone about our recent development. I’m pushing ten weeks pregnant, and we have an appointment for our first ultrasound next week. Listening to the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago had been surreal. I can’t imagine how much seeing the little bean will turn me inside out.
“Do they know about me? Your family.”
“They know I’ve been seeing someone. I never went into much detail. But my mom knows my taste is rather unconventional compared to hers or Rochelle’s.”
“She going to give you shit?” he asks. His face darkens.
I love him for his protective nature. “Not while you’re around.”
“So, yes.”
“She’ll get over it.”
“Are you planning on dropping the baby boom?” he asks.
“I was toying with the idea. Why not rip the Band-Aid off all at once? What do you think?”
“Hey, it’s your family. I’m just visiting.”
“Ugh, not helpful, Skull.”
“The fewer people that know, the more control we keep. I don’t care either way. I can’t let Stone hear from anyone else but me though. I’ve been putting it off for you.”
“What? I never asked you to do that.”
?
??You’re hot and cold most days, and I don’t know much about you. Not the way I should. This is the most I’ve ever heard you talk about your father or your life growing up. We don’t have all the time in the world to get to know each other. We need to figure this shit out and set down guidelines.”
“What? You want to draw up a custody agreement?” I ask sarcastically.
“No. I want to know what the hell we’re doing. Are you in it for the long run? We going to raise this kid together, or are you going to bail like the other bitches. Tell me when and if I can see my kid. I need to be able to trust you won’t get antsy, turn your nose up at the club, and get squirrelly.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been around KOC?” I ask offended.
“It’s a whole new ball game as an Old Lady. You’re already dealing with me for life as it is. It ain’t always going to be a picnic.”
“You think I don’t already know that?” I ask, exasperated.
“The first time I fucked up, you were out the door.”
“Don’t put that on me. We didn’t have any labels or rules. I was protecting myself.”