“I’m blaming the hormones, but the truth is…I’m out of my depth. I’ve never done a serious relationship and now, I’m neck deep in one.”
“Because of the baby?”
The query reminds me how clueless she is about the life. “Because I’m his Old Lady. That’s like marriage to them. Even more binding actually. Not like I could send paperwork and bail anytime I got ready.”
“Really? Being in this, you can’t?”
Rochelle’s shock makes me laugh. “It’s whole other set of rules, sweet pea.”
“Then I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Me too,” I whisper.
“I’m behind you one-hundred whatever you decide, or need. You know that right?”
“I do. I love you, Roch. Thanks for listening to me.”
“Always. Love you too, big sis.”
I hang up feeling a little less alone, but no less damaged.
***
Skull
I smooth Ruthie’s red locks away from her face and kiss her forehead. I’d been saved by the bell when work called me last night. She was hitting on issues I wasn’t ready to touch or think too deeply on. I’d spent years building it up in my head. My life was an escape route from my family’s dark past. Coming up with a new plan scares the piss out of me. The old one worked. No one got hurt and I enjoyed my life. If I don’t do something, I’m going to lose them both. It’s amazing how important these two beings have become to me.
“Wake up, sleepy head.”
“Hmmm.” Her eyelids flutter open.
I take in her sleepy-eyes and makeup free state. I like her best like this. When she’s pliant, soft, and natural. I used to think the pregnancy glow was a myth, but she’s got it. “Hey. Nap time’s over.”
“How long was I out?” she asks, slowly sitting up on the couch where the television had been watching her, instead of the other way around.
“About an hour and a half. I know you didn’t want me to let you sleep the day away. I have something I’d like to show you.”
“Oh, yeah?” She smiles up at me.
With her sweet smile, it’s all too easy to imagine her as a teenager. “Yeah, Trouble. Are you up for it?”
“Yes, just let me freshen up real quick,” she says easing off the couch.
I watch her go, eyes glued to her ass in the gray sweat pant capris. Her ass is getting fatter by the day, and I can’t get enough of it. She always had nice portions, but the pregnancy is ripening her like a fruit. All I want to do is pump her full of my cum. Which is insane, because I can’t get her any more pregnant. Mother Nature is a crazy ass bitch. I sink down on the couch wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t share much of my past with people, and I’m about to take her on the scenic route of Tritt Alexander Matthews.
I tug my beanie lower on my head. All or nothing. I can’t be half in and half out. I commit or she won’t. I’m already in it for at least eighteen years raising the bean. The bean. I smile as I remember the first time we saw the baby. I knew she was pregnant, but the child was an abstract concept until I heard the steady whump whump of its heart beat and saw the tiny form Kermit flail on the screen. It was more than an ideal, it was a living, breathing, human, half me and half the woman I’m in love with. I’d never admit that out loud, but this woman has got me hemmed up for as long as she’ll have me.
“I’m ready.”
Her sing song voice makes me smile. She’s tamed her bed head and put on sunscreen I’m sure. One thing I know about the woman is she takes her skin serious swearing up and down a redhead burns like a vampire in the sun if she’s not lathered in sunblock.
“I’m driving,” I say.
She scowls, but tosses me the keys to her first baby.
“You know I don’t like riding bitch,” I say.
“No, but you like it when this bitch rides you.”