I look up from the cash till, where I’m making change and freeze. Dad. His face is worn and weathered by the sun and drugs. His hair is a shock of white, and his thin frame seems to have shrunk. His eyes are the same light shade of green I see every day in the mirror. The money falls from my hands onto the table. I lose the ability to think as the world fades into the background and white noise sounds in my ear.
“Your mother tells me you’re following in my footsteps, and making my mistakes. I knew it was bad when she tracked me back down and contacted me. I wanted to see if it was true before I did anything.”
I open my mouth and close it, unable to form a sentence in my head let alone speak it.
“Hey, you okay?” Blue asks.
I turn to look at her and then back at my father.
She makes change and hands it to the woman waiting with her daughter. “We’ll just have a ten-minute break folks, we have to change some colors out,” Blue says. “Sir, I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to speak to you.”
“Girl, I’m not here to have some tart I don’t know give me lip. This is between me and my daughter.”
I glance across the aisle and see my mother’s satisfied expression. She did this. “You need to leave,” I say forcing my voice to remain steady.
“You think these people are your friends? They came into your life and filled a void. Maybe they preyed upon your daddy issues. I accept blame for that.”
/> My hand is flying on its own volition before I can stop it.
His head turns to the right as my palm makes its mark on his cheek.
Gasps fill the air around us.
“Are you fucking deaf, old man? The lady asked you to leave,” Bolton snarls, sounding all the world like a fully patched member.
“Listen, pip squeak. This is grown man’s business. I suggest you stay out of it,” my father drawls in that condescending tone I remember so well.
“I’ve known Aunt Ruthie my entire life and never seen you once. I think I know more about business that has to do with her than you do,” Bolton says forcing me to stand behind him.
I place my hand on his shoulder. “I got this. My family. My mess.” I turn to my so-called father. “Your advice isn’t wanted or needed. I don’t appreciate the sudden misplaced concern. I’m exactly where I want to be,” I state sickened by the sight of the man who’s caused me so much pain and grief. “Looks like Mom sent you on a wild goose chase.”
“No, I think I’m exactly where I need to be, close to the story. I’m a man who believes in paying his debts. I owe your mother this much. What happens next, will benefit us both. Remember I gave you a chance to get out of the spotlight.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What I do best—”
“Get wasted and disappear off the face of the Earth? Been there, done that, got the therapy bill,” I say interrupting him.
“You’ve got a smart mouth, like your old man.”
“Like myself,” I correct him.
“Stubborn like me too.”
“I don’t know what you’re looking for from me. But I assure you, it’s not here to be found. Go back under the rock you crawled out from,” I snarl.
“You’re going to see how quick your new family will turn on you. After all they did to your mother, I’m ashamed to see you with them.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“In all the years you never thought about why she’s like this? You really think it’s the work of one man? We fought, but I never beat her, or—” The sound of bikes in the distance make him stop in mid-sentence.
My father is many things, but stupid isn’t one of them. He eases back into the crowd leaving me with an upset stomach and more questions.
I sway, and Bolton grabs me around the waist. “Whoa, Auntie?”
I clutch my stomach.