“About what?”
“My parents.”
Her head appears over the side of the bed. “Skull.”
“I’ll be okay, just…give me a minute.”
She reaches her hand down and I take it allowing her soft skin to ground me.
“Babe. You need to talk to someone. When something scares us, we have to learn as much about it as possible, so it doesn’t control us. What do you know about Schizophrenia other than the fact that it’s hereditary and runs in your family?”
“Isn’t that enough?” I ask.
“No, ignorance isn’t bliss. It’s another form of denial. You can’t afford that anymore. I’m going to make you an appointment with someone, and I’m hoping you’ll show up for it.”
“Who?”
“The same woman who helped me. Dr. Reichsight. She’s an older woman with a hippy vibe about her, all sandals and long skirts. But she’s real, caring, and I think you’ll hit it off. I go to her every now and then for some fine tuning to keep my crazy under control. Mental health is a lifelong battle. One we should all be open and honest about. There are so many more pressures out there. It’s okay to take a step back, take a deep breath, and recalibrate.”
“She tell you that?”
“Yes, and it’s what kept me together during high school when I was still trying to live up to my mother’s lofty expectations and finding they didn’t jive with who I was as a person. It was a dark time. When you realize y
ou and your one active parent will always be at odds, it hurts.”
“I’m sorry, Ruthie.”
“It’s life. I’m not happy about it, but I’ve accepted it. That’s what she helped me do.”
“And you think she could do that for me?” I ask, letting her words sink in.
“I really do.”
I chew the inside of my lip. The fear of the unknown is what has held me back. I can’t afford to be off my game right now. Not with her father lurking in the background, working with the bride of Satan that’s her mother. “Make the appointment and I’ll go.”
“You will?”
The excitement in her voice tells me I’m doing the right thing. “Yeah, Mama.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’ll need some information from you.”
“Whatever you need, it’s yours.” This is my Old Lady who’s having my kid. I have to put all my trust in her until she gives me a reason not to. We resurrected these old ghosts and now, I’ve got to put them to bed properly.
“Come back to bed?”
“Yeah.” I push off from the floor and climb beneath the covers pulling her warm, pliant body against mine. She’s given me a soft place to land.
***
I peel back my eyelids and fumble for my phone. “Hello,” I croak, struggling to fully wake. The broken sleep has me off my game.
“Brother, we got a problem.”
“Pres?”
“Yeah, get the lead out, and check your email. There’s a link to the problem that just popped up.”
“Alright, I’m up.” I push into a sitting position and rest my head against the wall.