Rival clubs aren’t normally the problem—sometimes tensions run high—but it is people who arrive thinking they can treat us any kind of way that wreak the most havoc. It reminds me of high school. In their minds, being the child of a biker means you have to be a slut who gives it out to anyone who pays you the smallest bit of attention. I walk past the bars being set up and into the office to play catch-up from my days off.
The minute I step inside, Miranda rushes in and shuts the door behind me. “What the hell is going on, Nevada?”
“Hello to you, too, Mimi.”
“Are you kidding me right now? I get a message from Riker that we’re having a party to celebrate you becoming Wizard’s old lady and I haven’t heard shit?”
I sigh. The bubbly blonde has been my best friend for years. The minute she started seeing Riker, we met at a club get together and clicked. “It’s not like that at all, Mimi. Trust me. It’s purely logistical.”
“Bullshit.”
“Look, I can’t get into club business. I’ll just say Fuse came on too hard. Wizard shut him down and took me on to make sure everyone knew I wasn’t some bitch with a bulls-eye on her back.”
“Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me?” Mimi rushes over and wraps her arms around me. “I am so sorry.”
“Me too.” I clear my throat. “I’m over it now. He got what he had coming to him.”
“Good. You don’t deserve that bullshit.”
“Yeah,” I huff. We pull back. “Wizard didn’t want to see me left out in the cold. No more, no less. We’re cohabitating. I keep up the house and make him food. We’re both happy. I wish I had a Cinderella story for you,” I snicker, “but we know that shit doesn’t happen."
“Hey, just because we haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it’s not impossible.”
I envy her glass half-full mentality. Riker saved her from a shit situation. To her, he’s her deliverer. Plus, she hasn’t been in this life long enough to be jaded. I don’t even remember that time in my life.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say, forcing a small smile.
“I know you think I’m naïve, but I believe this shit. If it can happen to other people, why not us?”
Because shit never works out for me.
“You’ve got a point,” I concede.
Mimi sighs. “I wish I could take away your hurt, show you how much you miss out on when you shut yourself off to the possibilities.”
“Survival is the name of the game, Mimi. You know that. I do what I have to, and that means being realistic. That head in the cloud shit will get you crushed and beat down.” I scowl, thinking of the string of used up women. Depleted. Drained of all hope, ambition, and love over the years. I watched them shrivel up and die inside, because they hadn’t guarded their hearts. I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen to me.
“Survival mode leads to living, not existing. Eventually, you have to move past that stage, or you’re going to end up old and full of regrets.” She holds up her hands. “I’m just saying maybe this thing with you and Wizard could be the best thing that ever happened to you. The man’s sexy as hell.”
“Come on, Mi. I mean yes, he’s attractive, but he’s like an uncle or something,” I say, playing down my crush.
“Mmm-hmm.” She presses her lips together. “That’s a lot of denial for someone who feels nothing.”
Pursing my lips I remain silent. Anything else I say will only make it worse. “Did you come in here just to read me the riot? I have to check Carla’s paperwork over the past few days.”
“All right, I’ll let it drop for now, but don’t think for a minute I’m going to stop. I’m willing to fight for your happiness. The question is, why aren’t you?”
“I’m happy.”
“Are you really?” She sweeps out of the room dramatically before I can respond.
Her words roll around in my head as I open up QuickBooks. Happiness is a flighty state of being I haven’t put much stock in. When you’re wondering how long you can stay somewhere, or where your next meal is going to come from constantly, it takes a back seat. Wizard has given me stability. Now what do I do with it?
“How you fairing with the old lady?” Stone asks.
We’re posted at the bar, shooting the shit while we hash out the pawn shop concept. I exhale the smoke from the cigar. I’ve been waiting for him to ask me this since everything went down.
Stone is a good leader ’cause he knows each one of his men. He makes sure he’s up to date on what’s going on in our lives. Even when he seems like he’s just hanging out, he’s watching everything with a shrewd ass eye. We’ve ousted more than one rat.