Spun (Kings of Chaos 1)

“I’m looking for the next of kin for Gage Carmody.”

I turn to see a doctor dressed in blue scrubs and a lab coat standing in front of us. My stomach lurches and I find myself obsessively searching for any clues. His uniform is pristine and his face is impassive. God, is he dead? My heart thuds in my chest and blood rushes in my ears. I sway slightly and regain my footing, careful not to lock my knees.

“We’re the only family he has. This his fiancée,” Stone says.

I step forward and grip the sides of my T-shirt.

“Mr. Carmody is in ICU. We’ve gotten him stable. He has three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a fractured wrist, but the worst of it is the swelling in his brain. Now we have him on meds to keep him under and allow his brain to heal on its own. If it doesn’t, we may need to go in and drill some holes to relieve the pressure. For now, it’s a waiting game. Once the swelling begins to decrease, we can begin to talk about what the lasting effects may be and when we should let him begin to wake.”

“Is he brain dead?” I whisper.

“No, his activity is decreased, but that’s to be expected after the impact he took. Even with a helmet, his head received serious trauma...”

He continues to speak, but the shock has set in and everything is getting fuzzy. I appreciate that he’s dumbing down the medical jargon, but they all amount to the same thing. Wizard is far from being out of the woods and if he does come back to us, he may be irrevocably changed.

“This is how this is going to go down. I want someone in his room with him at all times. When he wakes up, it’ll be to a familiar face,” Stones states.

His voice jars me back into reality.

“Look alive, girl, he’s not dead! We both know Wizard is tough as nails. He’ll be back and on top before we know it.”

I clear my throat. “I know you’re right, it’s just a lot to take in.”

“I get that, but right now he needs you. If there’s anything he’s fighting to get back to…it’s you.”

If only that was true.

“The Doc said we could go back one at a time. I want to give you first visit.”

“Okay.”

“Breezy, walk her in.”

The lanky prospect with a mop of dark brown hair breaks away from the group.

I follow him back. The smell of antiseptic and the beeps of machines fray what’s left of my nerves. I try to prepare myself for what we’ll walk into.

We stop in front of room four-twenty-seven and Breezy opens the door. “I’ll be right out here.”

“Thanks.” I walk inside the dimly lit room and stare at the blue curtain that surrounds his b

ed. My feet are stuck to the white tile flooring as my mind plays cruel tricks. My chest aches and my head pounds. I force my legs to move, feeling like an infant taking their first step as I wobble. Step by step, I make my way to his side. Pulling back the curtain I cry out—his face is so swollen I can barely stand it.

His skin looks like it hurts. The bruises paint his face in shades of black and blue. He looks so small and fragile with the white blanket pulled up to his chin.

I reach out and gently touch his dark head. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I know some people can when they’re in a forced state of unconsciousness, so I… I’m just going to talk this thing out.” I peel back the covers and a whimper spills from my lips.

Abrasions line his arms and patches of hair have been ground down in certain areas. It’s as if someone took a grater to him.

I take his hand and cover the top and bottom with my own. “Last night, we were making love and we had all of the time in the world for me to get over my fears and tell you how I truly feel. Now, I’m kicking myself for my cowardice.” I bend over and kiss his knuckles. “I’ve been letting my life circumstances control me for a long time. I figured the only way to stay safe was to build up walls and stay behind them. Then you came along and made me break all of my rules.” I laugh. “You’d be proud of that, I know…” It feels good to smile.

He’s here, still breathing and fighting to get better. If anyone can come out of this even stronger, it’s Wizard.

“You make all of the problems go away, Gage. It made me take you for granted. When someone’s your rock, you see them as invincible.” I lift his hand and place it against my face, wishing I could feel him cup my cheek once more. “When you get back, I’ll tell you everything I’ve been dying to say. You see, I’ve fallen in love with you. I can’t even,” my voice shakes and I clear my throat, “I can’t picture my life without you. Because of you, I’ve become the person I always dreamed of being. I’m in control of my destiny. It’s the single most amazing gift anyone’s ever given me. I think you knew that. You were always so cautious not to take advantage of the position of power you held. That only made me fall for you faster.” I close my eyes and revel in the warmth of his palm.

This means he’s alive. Blood continues to pump through his veins and his heartbeat is a steady pulse playing on the monitor.

“When you wake up I’m going to tell you this, and I hope to God you feel the same way.” The knock on the door reminds me I’m not the only one who needs to see him. “I need to let the others have a turn with you, but I’ll be back. When you come back to me, I want mine to be the first face you see.” I lower his arm, re-bundle him, and bend down to gently brush his chapped lips with mine. It’s my turn to be the strong foundation he needs until he’s back on his feet. I rush away from the bed without looking back. If I see him lying there so still, I’m going to break down. I make a mental list of things that need to be taken care of. He wouldn’t want things to fall by the wayside in his absence. I cling to that thought as I emerge.