“Now, the baby changes everything. I’m not about to have you out here on your own, carrying my kid. You need to come home back to our house.”
I grit my teeth. It’s everything I wanted, but not. “I don’t want this to be something you feel forced—”
“Did you hear me say I missed you? I want to try this thing again. Can you give me that?”
I peer into his blue eyes and see the man I fell in love with. He may never get those months back, but I think we can get return to that point. “I can give you that.”
He smiles. “Shit. I didn’t expect to…” He shakes his head. “I’m going to be a dad.”
“Yes, you are.” He’s taking it much better than I expected.
“Holy fuck, Nevada! You’ve turned my life upside down, but I don’t think I mind.”
“No?” I whisper.
He caresses the side of my face with his knuckles and I close my eyes, soaking up the affection. I have missed these moments with him.
“No,” he answers.
It’s a starting point. A place to build from. We’ve done this dance before. It’s only a matter of remembering the steps.
Epilogue
Life is an unpredictable combination of cause and effect. We all do our best to navigate through. If you’d told me a year earlier I’d be this happy, I wouldn’t believe you. Once Nev came home, shit fell into place. I vaguely remember our time together, but it’s the memories we made after the accident that matter the most. I watch her rock back and forth in the hand-carved rocking chair. My son drinks from her breasts and I’m amazed. They keep my demons at bay. This house is my sanctuary. The hard earned prize given after a tough day at work. I thought I understood family because I belonged to Chaos, but I didn’t know shit. There’s nothing like your own flesh and blood. The moment I held Vegas in my arms, shit shifted for me.
“You coming in, or do you just plan on watching us from the door frame?”
I smirk. “Where’d you get that sassy ass mouth from?”
“My old man helped me develop it.”
I snicker. “Don’t put that shit on me. I discovered what was lurking in the shadows.”
She glances up and smiles over our son’s head. “Hi Daddy.”
I cup his head and marvel at the downy black peach fuzz. “Hey Mama. Is Vegas hungry?”
“Yes, he’s insatiable, much like someone else I know.”
“We don’t know what you mean, do we, my boy?” I whisper.
She snickers. Her dark hair falls behind her back and her eyes shimmer with pure joy.
It’s the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever seen. She gave me back light. I want to do right by her. “I have a present for you.”
“Yeah?”
I kneel beside the chair and dig into my pocket. My hand shakes slightly as I clutch the black velvet box. I pull it out and open it. “What do you say we make this family official?”
“Gage?” She stares at me. “Y-you want to marry me?”
“I want everyone to know you’re mine. Inside our world and out.
I want us to share the same last name. I can’t,” I clear my throat, “I can’t imagine life without you, Nevada. You brought me out of a darkness I thought was inescapable. After all we’ve been through, it’s only right we take this thing the whole way.” I circle the round scar on her left arm. A gruesome reminder of the day she could’ve lost her life.
“I’d love to marry you, Gage.”
My heart sings and I’m fighting back tears like a baby. “Shit, Nevada.”