Cast the Cards

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Savannah. I have to.” He used my full name— he isn’t going to back down.

“Go ahead. I’m listening.”

“There were things I kept from you, Vannah. I was afraid.”

“Why? You were my best friend. Nothing you said would’ve made me see you any differently.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

“Clark. You’re scaring me.”

He gave her a small smile, ran a finger down the side of her face. The touch was real albeit a little cool. She closed her eyes, leaned into savor the feel of his flesh against her own with a chill that had nothing to do with temperature. She opened her eyes only to be snared by the blue-green jewels full to the brim with emotion. This is so wrong.

“I love you.”

Her mouth flopped open and closed. “Wait—what?”

“I should’ve told you back then. I hid it for years. Played the best friend when what I wanted to be was your everything, I knew we were meant to be after your eighteenth birthday. You were wearing this peach dress that stopped at your knees. It took my breath away. Jason Mclaren was giving you the eye the whole party. The minute you turned your attention to someone else I took him aside and pretty much told him if he even tried to talk to you Carey and I would make his life … unpleasant.”

“Clark,” she gasped. Her pulse raced. Joy bubbled to the surface like the fizz in soda.

“You stole my heart somewhere along the way growing up. I could never give it to another. Who could be a better match for me, Savannah? We finished each other’s sentences. Didn’t hide a thing from one another. It was a rarity that I took for granted. I just… I didn’t want to risk losing what we had.”

“I felt the same.” Her admission lifted the heavy boulder off her chest.

“Felt?”

The wounded expression that crossed his face cracked open a door inside she’d chained shut. She clossed the inches of space that divided them and cupped his cool face in her hand. “I will always love you, Clark. You and I were soul-deep. When you were gone I became a piece of driftwood lost in the ocean of life. I had to rebuild myself from the ground up. I hurt a lot of people that way but it was what I had to do to survive. Now you’re back and I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to do when you’re leave.” Her voice cracked. Her bottom lip quivered.

“How can we miss out on a second opportunity because of fear? That’s what robbed us in the first place.”

She pulled away. “What do you want me to do?” It seemed wrong to say “when you’re dead”. Yet the words spun around in her head.

Her phone rang out like the ding of a bell ending the round of a prizefight.

“I have to get that.”

“Yeah.” Clark stepped back and released a deep breath. As he paced the length of the room, his nervous energy set her on edge.

She picked up the phone. “Speak.”

“Jeez. You need sleep more than I thought.”

“Carey?”

“I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

Her anger melted away. “I’m fine. It’s like a ten-minute drive.”

“I know, but you didn’t seem right tonight.”

“Nothing sleep won’t cure.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”