Cast the Cards

“Isn’t that what faith is all about? Trusting in things unseen?”

“Someone was paying attention during Religion class.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to ponder.”

His wry comment brought home the fact that he was a ghost. It was too easy to lose herself in the vivid illusion.

“What made you become an F.B.I agent, Vannah? That’s light years away from a grade school teacher.”

“You don’t know?” Hadn’t he been watching over them?

“I could only observe, and even then, not all the time. Think of it as watching movie previews. It wasn’t creepy in the way people make it seem in the movies. We don’t just hang around and follow you from room to room, watching you sleep.”

“Would you hate me if I said that was good to know?” She cringed.

He laughed. “No. You’re the same girl who thought Santa was a pervert for knowing when you were sleeping and awake. Because it led to the question, ‘Is he spying on you when you were in the shower and getting dressed’.”

“What? It was a valid question.” She took a right on Fifth and headed toward Main Street, passing their old middle school.

Clark snorted but held his peace.

“I guess it was my response to what happened. I needed to do something that would make a difference for other victims like me. I thought of going into counseling at first. It’s what led me to my psychology classes. In the end it didn’t seem hand- on enough. Plus, I felt like I’d be lying.” The trip down memory lane made her shift in her seat.

“Lying to whom?”

“The children I’d teach. Telling them the world was a safe place to venture out into when I knew different. Their wide-eyed innocence would have filleted me alive back then.”

“And now?”

Time to lay all the cards on the table. “Now I envy it.”

“You know it wasn’t your fault I didn’t escape.”

Air left her lungs in a whoosh. She pulled over a few yards from her house. Clenching her eyes shut, she rode out the tsunami of emotions. Pain, anger, relief, and guilt, pounded against her like ruthless rain. Gripping the wheel, blood rushed in her ears and her head grew light. She felt disconnected from her physical body. Could he see through to all the quiet thoughts and concerns she held close?

“H-how did you know?”

“Because I know you, Savannah West. You take everything on to yourself and find letting go damn near impossible. You’d bring up silly mistakes you’d made years ago growing up. How could you not do the same thing with this? I knew what I was risking when I used the momentum of my body to force you out of the trunk. I wouldn’t change it if I’d known how things would turn out. That was when my life was supposed to end.”

“Clark.” Her voice cracked.

“No, you need to hear this, Savannah. I love you. There is no greater gift than to lay down your life for a friend. You are my female counterpart to Carey. Without you things would never be right. Personally, I don’t think I’d have your strength. You dealt with this situation with dignity, and a quiet grace I never could’ve pulled off. That’s always been you though. You possess this superhuman ability to shoulder the weight of the world and still keep moving forward. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

She swiped at the tears that obscured her vision. “Y-yes you could.” She turned her head to find his face wet with his sorrow-filled drops of saline. He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “You and Carey have to take care of each other now, Savannah. I couldn’t bear it if they got a hold of either of you. If I can set things right, I’ll walk away happy.”

“How can it ever be set right?” No matter what we accomplish here Clark will still leave.

“It’s already starting.”

“W-what do you mean?” Their whispered voices filled the quiet space. Time seemed to exist in a bubble.

“You and Carey reconciling.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why is that so important to you?”

“Because having the two people I love most in the world at odds was killing me. He makes you laugh… and remember. I always felt like when you left here you put me in a tidy box, swept under you bed, and only pulled out when my anniversary came back. I didn’t want to be that.”

“Clark, I think about you all the time.” Pulling away, she shook her head.