“So it’s not the day job?” She smooths down my eyebrows with a brush and moves on to the smalls scissors.
“It’s Houston.”
“Is everything okay with the kids?” Efia asks concerned.
“Oh, they’re fine. This issue is strictly between him and me.”
“Did you have a fight? It’s not like you two to let things go unresolved for too long.”
“That’s not it. If you ask him, nothing’s wrong. I’m the one with doubts.”
“About?” She
“Us.”
“Wait. Us as in two become one?”
“If he has his way.”
“Girl, you got that sexy bearded beast and you don’t want him? Please send him my way. He takes care of his business, bills, and treats you like a queen. And that was as his best friend.”
I huff. “You’re on his side?”
“I’d rather be under him.”
“Ef, I’m serious.”
“So am I. Damn. You’re not attracted to him?” She asks skeptically.
“I am. It’s not that. I feel like I’m a convenience. I’m here, and I’m safe. How long until he decides I’m not what he needs?”
“Houston never struck me as the type of man who doesn’t know his mind.”
“No, but we’re damaged goods. What are they odds that we’d move on together?” I ask.
“Considering you’re practically married in everything but name and the swapping of bodily fluids, I’d say high.”
“Gross.”
“Hot, sweaty, smex is what you need. You haven’t been dicked down since that waste of sperm and egg. I think it’s way past time you broke your unspoken vow of chastity.”
“That’s not what being alone was about. I needed to ground myself and rediscover who I was. What happened was a wake-up call. I’d been doing everything for Tony and getting virtually nothing back. He wasn’t even that good in bed.”
“Ugh. Useless,” Ef hisses.
I smile. “He was. I can’t believe how much time I wasted waiting for him to get his stuff together because I thought he had potential.”
“Potential doesn’t pay bills, make a good husband or a decent father,” Ef says.
“I know that now.”
“So why continue the drought? You’re good on your own. You have your swank condo, a great job, a nice car, and a sense of self that makes you one of the strongest women I know. If you’re not ready for a relationship now, then when?”
She rips off another layer of fabric, and I wince. “Never?”
“No. I refuse to let you walk away from the man I believe is your soulmate. What you did, stepping up and mothering those children is above and beyond godmother duties.”
“He’s my best friend.”