“I’ve been trying to tell you for years, I don’t hold that against you. I’m over it. Why the hell aren’t you?”
“Because you shouldn blame me.”
“You’re my brother. Of course, I’d do whatever it took to get you out.”
“It was my fault, Hayes. I caused that fire. I killed our father and set him up to take the fall. I c-couldn’t—take it anymore. The yelling, screaming, the abuse, and God, the things he did to Mom. I heard them having it out and he hit her, hard. That’s why she was strewn across the couch. I went out to check on her and I couldn’t get her to wake.” He shook his head, looking all the world like a lost little boy.
“What?” Monster whispered. The blood drained from his face.
“I lost it. Next thing I know, I’m in the back bedroom with a pillow and Dad’s not breathing. I knew I had to cover my tracks, so I—I got one of his cigarettes, lit it, and got the old Zippo lighter. I rigged it, so it’d look like it was his fault. But the place went up so fast and the smoke disoriented me. I should’ve—died in that fire. Me! Not you. And now I have to see the results of what I did every damn day when I look at you. You’re suffering and Mom’s dead and all of it’s on me.”
Her jaw dropped open as she watched them air their dirty secrets. Part of her wanted to go to Monster, but she knew it wasn’t her place. This was for them to sort out. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself quiet.
> “I—I’ve been trying to make it up to you for years, but it’s like you don’t want anything to do with me.”
Monster shook his head. “This is why you’ve been up my ass all this time? Why you can’t accept any form of forgiveness?” Monster released his brother and stumbled back. A dazed expression covered his face. “Did you think I’d be mad at you forever about Dad? Hell, I wanted to the same thing a million times over. He got meaner and nastier with every passing day.” Monster ran his fingers through his hair. God, Hartley.” He shook his head. “I-I can’t do this—right now. I need space.”
“Hayes—”
“No.” Monster held out his hand. “Just, stay away for now, and from Symone. I can’t believe you could keep a secret this big for so long! God, what else are you hiding?”
“That’s it, I swear.” Pan held his hands up in mock surrender.
“Yeah, ‘cause you’re so trustworthy.” Monster sneered.
“Monster?” she whispered, unsure how to proceed.
“Hold down the fort here, okay? Pan won’t be a problem, and tonight…I’ll get back with you, yeah?”
She nodded, fighting the urge to wring her hands. He’d just gotten a bombshell dropped on him. The last thing he needed was to be alone. Still, she couldn’t abandon her position. Unlike them, she was still on a trial basis. Chase. She’s known him way longer and she’s good at talking people down.
Monster walked out of the room without looking back.
Slowly, Pan slid down the wall. He laughed. The sound bordered on hysteria.
As much as she wanted to slap his face and tell him to calm down, she knew it would only make more trouble for Monster.
“I knew it’d go like that. That’s why I kept putting it off. Now, look at us. He can’t stand the sight of me. All he wants is you.”
“You need to get your shit together and let him process.”
“So easy to say when it’s not your family.”
“Look, asshole. I know tragedy, loss, and family. And what you two had was a mild fight. It’ll blow over with time. Right now, you need to lock it down and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
He went silent and peered up.
“You coming back to earth now?”
Looking stunned, he nodded.
“Good, now get out of here before we’re stuck explaining what happened and why. Take the boxes in the hallway with you.”
Pan pushed to his feet and obeyed her commands like a voodoo zombie being controlled by its master.
Exhausted, she returned to her desk and slumped down in her seat. Worried about Monster, she pulled out her phone and texted. “Text me when you get somewhere, please.” Payroll was shot for the day, but she could do simple things like place orders on the parts list to keep herself occupied. That level of betrayal was high, but everything Pan did had been for his family. There was something to be admired in that.
God, I do not want to like him.