“I don’t know if I can do this lifestyle. It’s a whole other world. We had a get together with everyone and it was—an eye-opening experiencing.”
“Did he do something that made you feel uncomfortable?” Tanya leaned forward. Her face
clouded over with concern.
“No. That’s why it’s so hard. He’s amazing. I mean, I couldn’t have dreamed up a better match. But the world he lives in is gritty and rough. There are basic certainties we take for granted that they can’t.” Lark sighed. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Take a step back and make sure I’m with him for the right reason.”
“What would be the wrong reason, Lark? “
She cursed her inability to explain exactly how they met. “Distraction from what happened to Robin. Because I’ve become afraid to be alone. For any other reason than—love.”
“I’m so
rry, what? When did love become a thing for you and him?”
“Yeah, it’s one of those things I also figured out this weekend, or I think I did. I mean…Is it love?” Lark frowned.
“What else would it be, babe?” Tanya pointed at her. “You’re not the type of person to
throw the L word around. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use it in reference to a man.”
“I know and that scares the piss out of me. What do we have in common that would keep us together for the long run? What’s the glue that’ll hold us together?” Lark took a gulp of her drink, savoring the lime flavor and sugar rim. The slushy drink soothed her dry throat.
“Well, what’s been keeping you there happy, content and fucking glowing?”
“Excellent sex, the way he looks at me like I’m his entire world. The way he cares for me like no one else has ever done in my whole life. I’m not used to being thought of that way. I’m the fixer, the rock. He allows me to be something more.”
“It sounds like he balances you out,” Tanya observed.
“Yes. He gets me. We’ve had similar life experiences as crazy as that sounds.” She laughed.
What were the odds I’d have anything in common with a biker?
“I wish you could see your face right now. He clearly makes you happy. I think the real choice you have to make is if he’s worth the sacrifices needed to live in his world. Can you live without him and be as happy as you are right now?”
At a loss for words, Lark shook her head. “I don’t even know how to figure that out. I’m trying to take a few steps away without completely destroying what we’ve worked so hard to build. Trust isn’t something that comes easy to either of us. I don’t want to completely break that.”
“Taking steps back, how?” Tanya furrowed her brow.
“Moving back into my own place.”
“Wait, you’ve been living with him?” Tanya whispered.
“More like…sleeping there.”
“Jesus, you guys moved at hyper speed. No wonder you’re having doubts,” Tanya
whispered.
“This isn’t like me. “
“No, but maybe that’s a good thing. Stepping out of your comfort zone and taking risks is a necessary thing. You’ve had the pause button pressed on your life for a long time. Pan doesn’t allow you to continue that pattern. By all means question yourself, but don’t let fear drive you.
Don’t cop out because you could end up missing out on something amazing. A once in a lifetime something too.”