“Shit!” He ran to her side and rolled her over. The maroon stain that covered her jeans made him nauseous. He pulled out his phone and called 911. “Yes, I need an ambulance immediately. I came home and found my girlfriend unconscious on the floor. I’m not sure what happened, but there’s blood all over her jeans.”
“Are you able to revive her sir?”
He tapped her face gently.
Her eyelids fluttered open.
“Easy baby, don’t move. Yes ma’am, she’s conscious now.”
“See if you can get her talking sir.”
“What happened?”
“T-the b-baby,” she rasped.
Pan’s stomach twisted into an even bigger knot. “Ma’am, she just informed me she’s
pregnant.”
“How far along?”
“How far along,” Pan repeated.
“Eleven weeks,” she whispered.
“Eleven weeks.”
“We’re sending someone right now sir. Keep her warm and calm.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Pan hung up and gazed at her. “I’m going to get you a blanket.”
Lark stared up at the ceiling. Tears ran down her face.
How long has she known? Pan grabbed the navy blanket off the back of the couch and placed it over her body. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered.
She sobbed. “T-that’s why we were going to dinner Friday—night.”
Pan closed his eyes. She wanted to surprise me. “It’s going to be okay. Everything will be fine.” The gut wrenching sobs that slipped from her lips told him she knew he was lying.
The ride to the hospital was a blur of sirens, stats and prayer. He hadn’t known he wanted a family unit until now. The thought of watching his little bird with child pleased him. He could have happiness. So I can fuck it up, like I do with everything else? The small voice in his brain nagged him.
Larks’ cries of pain—silenced it.
They pulled up to the hospital and he watched, completely helpless as they rushed her away and left him to fill out insurance papers.
Ages later, he walked into her hospital room. She looked so small lying in the bed. I guess I know why she lost all the weight. He sank down in the chair beside her and held her hand. The doctor hadn’t informed him of anything other than the fact that she was stable. Fucking hospital policies. But the sorrow in the older mans’ kind grey eyes told him all he needed to know. It wasn’t meant to be. Why would you think for one moment you’d be allowed to have true happiness? She probably only came back because of the baby. The thought ate at him. The demons in his mind were having a flaming field day. He wanted to bang his head against the wall and scream, anything to quiet the words slicing him to ribbons on the inside. Maybe I’m cursed.
Maybe being with Lark is the worst thing I could do for her. She was right to be hesitant and now, there’s nothing holding her.
She stirred in her sleep, mumbling as she moved about in the bed.
Pan leaned over the bed and stroked her cheek.
Her eyelids fluttered open. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes against the pain that collapsed on him like a boulder. Hearing it made it more real somehow. “It’s not your fault baby.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. The icing on the cake.” Her voice wavered.