Live Free (Lords of Mayhem 3)

“Yeah.” Juliette nodded. “Come on, it’s down this way.”

“Thank you. I know you guys are expecting some sort of long explanation, but the truth is I don’t even know when I truly decided to go after Levi. Paul died, my father dropped a bombshell and Levi called, telling me he would kill everyone I cared about, one by one. Something broke inside me.”

They stopped outside a door.

“This is the place you guys were set up. We’re all in the same hallway,” Joey explained.

“Please come in with me. I don’t want to be alone right now,” Evonne admitted.

“Girl, of course, you didn’t even have to ask,” Hilary replied.

Evonne turned the knob, opened the door and turned on the light. The sight of her and Rocky’s things comingled and the lingering smell of leather soothed her battered soul. She strode over to her duffle bag and hefted it up onto the bed.

The door clicked shut and the girls moved to sit down on the bed.

“You guys know my dad and I never got along too well. I made you think it was because we were so different. Free-spirited artist versus the conservative military man. The truth is the man never liked me and nothing I did changed that. He blamed me for a lot of the hardships that followed my family after the accident. I finally learned why.” She pulled out her favorite pair of jeans, toed off her sneakers and quickly stripped out of the pair she was wearing, kicking them across the room. Tugging on the jeans, she kept trying to draw comfort from the familiar, so she opted to keep Rocky’s shirt on and sank down on the bed. “Apparently, they don’t know if I’m his child.”

“Wait—what?” Hilary looked stunned.

“Yeah, exactly.” Evonne snorted. “Dad went to boot camp, he and my mom had a falling-out, and she dated someone else, a white guy, which explains his extreme dislike for interracial dating. The guy was some sort of rebel, I guess. I don’t know all the details. Needless to say, they didn’t las

t, she got back with my dad, they got married and discovered…hello, baby. Evonne is on her way! Question is. Who’s the baby-daddy?”

“Holy fuck,” Joey whispered.

“Yeah…and he never bothered to get a test, just drove himself crazy wondering, and projected his ire for the situation on me. Real winner, my maybe father.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Juliette said quietly.

“Me either. There’s more to it, I’m sure. Mom said he wasn’t always like that. I’m not sure what changed. Haven’t really had the chance for a sit-down.”

“Why didn’t you tell us? All the time we never knew it was this bad,” Hilary said.

“Because I didn’t want the pity. You guys were my sanity. The one place I belonged where I could be myself and find complete acceptance. I couldn’t risk ruining that. So I watered everything down and pretended like it didn’t bother me.”

“How could she stay if he treated you that way?” Joey asked, clearly horrified.

“One of the many questions I’ve always wanted to ask her. Now even more so.” Evonne shook her head. “I think that made me turn off my emotions. I couldn’t handle it. Not on top of the guilt over what happened to Paul, then Levi called and I channeled everything onto him. I couldn’t bring Paul back or take back the years I wasted with my father, but I could end Levi. I was ready to die. To spill my blood, so the people I loved could be safe. I think it was what I needed to do. Maybe a cry to God, begging him to show me I was worth something, to show I was put here to bring more than just misery or strife.”

“Evonne, honey. You have to know this is bullshit.” Juliette grabbed her hand.

Evonne glanced down at her lap. “In that moment, no. You have to understand these are things I’ve heard my entire life. This—was a way to make it go away.” She shook her head. “My Dad insisted I train with him. I knew how to shoot guns by the time I was ten. They were pellet shooters at first, but as I got older they progressed. The .22 was the only gift I think came from his heart. Because he said some men didn’t know the meaning of no.” She laughed. “Even saying it out loud and hearing it sounds crazy.” She shook her head. “Once it got into my head it became like a worm infecting every thought I had until it was the only thing I could see. When we got the order to move it was like a sign. I knew I could slip away in the chaos, so I did.”

“Evonne—I have a hard time believing you’re just okay after something like that,” Hilary said.

“Oh no, I never said that.” She laughed. “I’m a fucking wreck in here.” Evonne tapped her temple. “The scene keeps replaying in my head. The numbness is wearing off and I’m barely holding it all together. It’s going to be a long time until I’m okay. But if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s manage fucked-up emotions. After all my father did, I’m a fucking pro.”

Evonne could almost hear their minds at work as stillness fell over the room.

“I don’t think we know what to say,” Juliette whispered.

Always the one to try to smooth things over. Evonne cleared her throat. “I’m going to put this out there and I’m only going to talk about it freely this one time. I shot Levi point blank, filled his body full of lead and watched him take his last breath. That shit will live with me forever, but I’ll never be sorry. If you saw the sick shit littering his jack-off room with my head posted over images to turn me into the leading lady. You’d feel the same.”

“Oh my God.” Hilary covered her mouth.

“I lucked out, you guys. This story could’ve ended so much worse. I just wish I could have saved that poor girl. All I can do is count my blessings and get the fuck over it. ‘Cause after the shit I’ve lived through, I want my happy ending.”

“And that’s with Rocky?” Joey asked. “‘Cause we were never really filled in on that.”