She lifted her head.
/> “What you see is someone who understands. We’ve all been victims to circumstances bigger
than we are. Some people like us understand more than others. You did what you had to do and you survived. It’s an admirable trait. I told you, your past changes nothing for me.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you be different? I know what people thought about me and the girls and what
we did. You’re no different with the club whores”
“Have we ever treated you like them?”
“No.”
“So, stop projecting. If you haven’t realized it yet, we’re all fucked up in the head. It’s practically a requirement for being in the Club.” His own ghosts rose up to mock him. “You aren’t the only one who wishes they could forget where they come from, or change the past. I have things I can barely live with too. But we continue on because we’re strong and we have to.
We do it for those we left behind who didn’t fare so well.”
Gia focused in on him for the first time since he’d begun his rebuttal. They were like two lawyers on opposite sides of the courtroom. “Yes,” she said. “You do know.”
He nodded. “I came from a very violent, poverty stricken place, Gia. I left under shaky
circumstances and I never looked back, except for when I sleep or slow down. Because no matter what, we can’t escape ourselves.”
“Colm.”
The sound of his given name on her lips was almost painful. He flinched internally. When
he let the mask of Lefty slip, the past caught up with him. “I honest to God feel with you, it’s not all bullshit and surface. That’s never happened for me. So, when I tell you I’m serious, I mean that shit.” He laughed. “You think I wanted it? I was just fine doing whatever the fuck I wanted with no remorse, but then you flew in under the radar and twisted me up into knots before I knew what was happening. Are you ready to admit you feel it too?”
“I—need to get to the oatmeal. It’s boiling over.” She pulled away from him and rushed to
the stove, rescuing the overflowing pot.
* * * *
“You know we have to talk now, right?” Lefty said, leaning against the counter as she rinsed out their bowls and placed them in the dishwasher.
“Yeah, I figured.”
“I need more information about how you got here, Gia.”
The words made her tense. This was putting more than herself on the line.
“You’re not doing them any favors by being silent. Mylandra already knows. She’s here about an hour away in Arrey.”
“No.” Gia slammed the dishwasher shut and gripped the counter tight. “How did she find
them? Why come here after all this time?”
“That’s what we need to know, Gia. I know you have contacts.”
Gia sighed and peered up at him. “I know people. But we don’t keep in contact. We have a
way of communicating when it’s necessary.”