What the Heart Knows

“I promise you, I wouldn’t have let things go this far if I wasn’t one-hundred percent ready to commit to this relationship.” Her brown eyes grew glossy with tears and he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to her quivering lips before he pulled back to study her face.

“Do you believe me?” he asked.

“Yes.” Her voice was scratchy as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because I understand exactly how you feel,” she said.

“What do you mean?” He shook his head, lost.

“I know what it’s like to feel guilty about being the one who’s still alive.”

“Juniper?”

“I’ve been keeping a huge secret from you, Oliver. Up until a couple of years ago no one thought I’d live to see twenty-three, let alone twenty-five.”

“What?” Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn’t imagine her life force being a dim flicker that could go out at any moment.

“I was born with a congenital heart defect. We knew from an early age a transplant was my only hope for a chance of a full life, but it’s not that easy to find a match. Growing up was like living life behind a two-way mirror. I could see everything going on, but I couldn’t participate. My brother really suffered the most. He was healthy, but he couldn’t do some things because I was always holding him back. It made me feel like a vampire, draining him of his life force. That last year I had accepted the fact that I was going to die. My health was disintegrating at a rapid pace, and I was just too exhausted to fight any longer.”

Her words sent a spike of fear through him. He’d come so close to losing her before they even met. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her closer. This was why he fully supported organ donation. If he was going to die the least he could do was give someone else a chance at life.

“The notebook you saw me writing in that first night in Cupa was my bucket list. It was all the things I wanted to do before I died. I checked as many of them off as I could before I landed in the hospital that last time, and after my second lease on life, I vowed to complete the ones that were left over. I watched so many of the friends I’d made pass on without receiving the organs they needed. I felt like I owed it to them to live life to the fullest. The guilt that came from surviving was something I’d never considered.”

“I had no idea,” he said, stunned. Juni hadn’t seemed anything but lighthearted and ready to try new things. Now he knew what the motivation behind that was.

“There was no way you could have guessed.” She peered up at him and laughed. “We’re a damaged pair, aren’t we?”

“Maybe, just a little mussed.”

He felt lighter with his secret out. She hadn’t pressed him for more details than he’d wanted to give, and in the end she was sort of a kindred spirit.

“It’s why I always kept things from going too far,” she said.

“The secrets?”

“The scar.”

“There’s nothing that could make you less beautiful to me.” He buried his hand in her curls, mesmerized by the petal soft strands that seemed to wrap around him with a life of their own.

“Even my hair has fallen victim to your charm.”

He smirked.

“Good.” He pulled her closer with a gentle tug. “I want you to show me your scar.”

Juni moved to pull away, but he tightened his grip.

“We all have battle wounds, Juni. Some are on the outside and some are on the inside. We just laid our cards on the table. That was the toughest hurdle.” He released her hair, and sat back.

“I’ll go first.”

Oliver pulled the shirt over his head. This was the moment he’d been dreading for a very different reason. Juni rose on to her knees and leaned in to trail a finger over the black four-leaf clover with Hannah’s initials beneath it.

“We got matching tats on our honeymoon.”

“Oliver, you may be one of the sweetest men I have ever met.” His body shook with relief.