“Among other things, mostly his habit of blaming all his problems on everyone else, mainly me. My parents drilled in our heads family looks out for one another, and as his older brother, I should step up. It’s not healthy. No person can police another. I’m not nor will I ever be his parent.” Hawk shook his head. “Our lifestyle is hard. If you don’t have enough common sense to keep your shit together, your neck is constantly going to be on the chopping block. It sounds harsh, but that’s how I keep my head right. I have a heavy load of responsibility and I take that shit seriously. My brothers depend on me. I have to be ready to pick up the banner if anything happens to Tiny. I don’t have time for shit else. Once the pres had the heart attack, my dad opted to step down and pass the title on to me. Let the new generation take up the cause he said. It shifted my priorities. He got that.”
A buzz sounded from his phone.
“Time to head back to the real world,” Hawk said. He released her and rolled over, digging in the pile of clothing they had left beside the couch to find his phone and answer it. “Yeah, Mom, I know. No I’m not running I walked away so I could avoid exploding and making a shitty situation worse. Yeah, I know that’s why you didn’t tell me you were coming. Who was I with? Tiny didn’t tell you?” Hawk glanced at her. “A house mouse I acquired. Yeah, no, don’t read too much into it.”
The words stung. She knew it was a role, but the attraction between them was very real. I can’t get lost in this character I’m pretending to be. I won’t like the way it ends. “Yeah, we’ll come by the clubhouse in a few.” He hung up and sat up, swinging his legs to the side of the couch. “For whatever reason, Tiny wants to keep your status on the down low, so you’ll have to watch yourself around my parents and Rayen now.” He slid his boxers up his legs and pulled them on. “I imagine you want some time to get cleaned up?”
“Yes, please.”
“Go ahead. I’ll wait, but don’t take forever.”
“I got you.” She ignored the urge to cover her body as she sat up and moved from the couch, headed into her room for a quick shower. As she turned on the shower she stomped out the shame creeping into her psyche. We’re both adults, fully aware of our situations, and the man was the best sex I’ve had ever. The time for coyness and belief in the happily-ever-after fairytale was long gone. Boy meets girl, falls in love, and remains faithful for the rest of his life didn’t always happen. Better to have fun now, with your eyes wide open and your heart out of the equation. Comforted, she stepped beneath the spray, and prepared to put on the performance of her life.
Dressed in a pair of tiny black shorts, black cowboy boots and a white tank top, she walked into the club beside Hawk, faking the confidence she didn’t feel. Classic rock blared over the speakers, People were gathered in large clusters talking, and the beer and liquor flowed. She scanned the area and found a table of food set up. Evonne, Joey, and Juliette stood across the room, talking. Hilary tugged on Hawk’s cut and he glanced down.
“Can I go over there with the girls?” she said.
He narrowed his eyes. “Might be the best place for you right now, actually. Remember, no wandering off your own.”
“I won’t.” She broke away from his side and weaved her way through the crowd.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Joey said.
Hilary rolled her eyes and exchanged hugs with the girls. “I know, it’s been insane.”
“You look pretty relaxed for someone who’s been under a lot of stress,” Joey said.
“Hawk’s good to me. I lucked out,” Ariel said doing her best not to squirm under her friends’ scrutiny. They always smelled lies a mile away.
“How…good has he been?” Evonne said.
“What do you mean?” Hilary said carefully schooling her face to feign innocence.
“Oh, she’s playing dumb now; that says it all,” Juliette teased.
“Why? Because I’m telling you he’s not an asshole?” Ariel said.
“No, because you’re using the avoidance technique you usually call us on,” Evonne said.
“Oh yeah, she had her a piece of Hawk. Tell us, is he as good as he looks like he’d be?” Joey asked.
Ariel smirked. “Better. Easily the best I’ve ever had.”
“Slut. I always knew Ariel wasn’t that innocent,” Juliette said.
“Juliette!” Ariel said laughing.
They all laughed.
“Okay, getting sexed up aside, how are you?” Juliette said.
“I’m better than I thought I would be. There’s something to letting go of everything that makes you unhappy and just living your life. I always thought it was bullshit. Some creed they spoke to justify the way disorganized people operated. I see it from a different angle these days.”
The girls nodded their agreement. “It’s insane how clear things get when you simplify,” Evonne said.
“In my case shit got a lot more complicated. Still, I’m happy, and unless I’m mistaken, I think my mom is too,” Joey said.
“Wait. Are your mom and dad re-hooking up?” Ariel said.