“Yes your enchanting sea princess has been helping me in the kitchen. You want to go fire up the grill?” Feather said.
Hawk looked uncertain as he hovered in the doorway.
Ariel shrugged. She only did what she was asked.
“Yeah, come on, Ariel, let’s go get things started.”
Please don’t be pissed.
“Take some of the chicken with you. It’s going to take longer,” Feather said cheerfully.
Numbly, Ariel grabbed the container of chicken and a brush to apply more marinade as she followed Hawk out to the deck that housed a monster-sized grill. They stepped outside, and she held her breath.
“What the fuck was that?” Hawk asked.
“Your mom trying to pump me for information I think.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Nothing. That you were doing Tiny a favor, and we weren’t serious.” The same thing you tell everyone else. “She said she knew I wasn’t just some house mouse, and I didn’t correct her. Told her I was a writer. She got a kick out of that.”
His silence as he moved to the grill made her nervous. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you did right,” he said.
“Then why do I feel like something’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head, turned on the propane and used the long red-handled lighter to get a fire going.
Unease settled in her stomach. She ran over her conversation with Feather. She’d done what he asked her to, kept her cover for the most part, respected his mother who was an old lady, and did what she’d been asked to. Her stomach knotted like fishing line. She’d gotten used to things between them being easy and comforting. This was the cold Hawk she once knew. God, she was right. This has gone so much further than a casual hookup. The melancholy that swept over her deepened as they completed their task in silence. They returned to the kitchen, and she found herself unable to take the strain between them.
“I’m getting a headache. If neither of you need me any longer I’d like to lie down,” Ariel said.
Feather frowned. “Maybe you just need to eat—”
“No. I couldn’t eat a bite right now. Really sleep is what’s best,” Ariel said.
Feather studied her for a moment. “I’m good here. The rest is up to the boys.”
“I don’t need you,” Hawk said.
The words were a shot to the kidneys.
She turned on her heel and hurried away before either of them could see the tears forming. She’d screwed up and fallen in love with the asshole. Now he was losing interest. She’d be left out in the cold. Inside the room, she closed the door and slid down to the floor. She’d been fooling herself getting lost in the fantasy.
This wasn’t her club. They weren’t her family, and he sure as hell wasn’t her man. Sobs shook her body as she released the anguish, disappointment and humiliation. He’d looked right through her. In the blink of an eye, he’d clammed up and reminded her of her place. This is just a role. Only silly girls lose themselves in things they know could never happen. He’d made her hope. Now I know better. Swiping away her tears, she rose to her feet. I survived a shooting. I’m not going to let a little heartbreak put me down for the count. Spent, she trudged to the bed and fell down face first. Later she would pull herself together, walk out with her head held high, and be there for the girls who’d been brought in late last night. Right now, she’d sleep and forget about the pain.
* * * * *
“What did you do to that girl, Hawk?” His mother’s accusatory tone shocked him.
“Nothing, Ma. You need to leave her alone. Don’t ask her too many questions. She needs to stay under the radar. If you draw attention to her you could jeopardize our setup.”
His mother gave him the stink eye. “Fine. For what it’s worth, I like her.”
“There’s nothing there for you to have an opinion about, Mom. Didn’t she explain it to you?” he asked.
“Humph. You seem worked up for it to be nothing.”