When he did speak, it was in that low, controlled tone that told Sloane he was beyond furious.
“Professionally, you violated every rule in the book. You overstepped your bounds and abused your role in this investigation. You’re an FBI confidential human source, not a special agent. In addition, you took it upon yourself to act without prior permission from the lead case agent—that would be me—and without even clueing me in until after the fact. You did that because you knew I’d shut you down. You put your life and my investigation in jeopardy—which is precisely why I didn’t want you on this case to begin with. And you nearly got yourself killed in the process.”
Sloane wasn’t surprised by any part of Derek’s reprimand. All of it had merit. Most of it was true. The rest fell into gray territory.
“I pushed the boundaries of my role,” she admitted. “But I didn’t violate them. Part of the reason Tony let me in on this investigation is because my father—and his family—are targets of Xiao Long. I just used that to my advantage.”
“No, you took a potential risk and made it into a certainty. There’s no guarantee that Xiao would have gone after you. Now there’s no way he won’t.”
“Point taken.” Sloane took a minute to gather her strength. “As for the rest, you’re right. I didn’t come to you with my idea. Partly because you would have nixed it, and partly because it struck me on the spur of the moment. The situation presented itself. It was a one-shot opportunity. So I went for it.”
“You have a cell phone. You could have called me.”
“And been overheard by Xiao’s thug? No way.”
“Cut the crap. You could have gone into a ladies’ room. You didn’t want me to know what you were doing. You were nothing more than a loose cannon.”
“But an effective one.” Sloane swallowed her pride and stated the truth. “Look, I’m not going to deny your accusations. I did break the chain of command. You have every right to toss me out on my ass. But before you do, consider one thing—other than the fact that I struck a nerve with Xiao Long, maybe enough to get him to screw up.”
“What is it you want me to consider?”
“You began your diatribe with the word ‘professionally.’ Now let’s talk personally. Would you have refused any other member of your team if he or she came up with the idea I did? Remember, I had no idea my actions would result in a physical assault. My only goal was to knock Xiao off balance, get him to worry about me and our investigation rather than focusing on my parents, and at the same time, to maybe learn a thing or two about the victims of his other eight break-ins. Which, by the way, I did. But we’ll discuss that later. The relevant issue here is that I’ve been both a special agent and a crisis negotiator. I’m a team player. My blowing off my team leader is way out of character. And, yes, I did it because I knew you’d turn me down. But I think the reasons you would have done so would have been personal, not professional. Am I wrong?”
A long pause as Derek contemplated her question and mentally ran down the list of her actions. “No. You’re not wrong,” he grudgingly acknowledged. “Your goal today was to question potential accomplices to your parents’ break-in—which you did. Assuming a false identity is fair game for an informant. Ditto for calling on your law enforcement contacts, since the Nineteenth is the precinct of record in all Xiao’s break-ins. But not coming to me first, before you took every single one of those steps, is a flat-out violation—one I won’t tolerate.”
Pausing again, Derek cleared his throat, obviously about to say something he really didn’t want to. “On the other hand, your point is valid. You knew I’d say no, and that the reasons for my doing so would have been personal.”
“I appreciate your honesty.” Actually, Sloane was stunned. She hadn’t expected Derek to make that admission, at least not until they’d had an enormous fight and she’d dragged it out of him. Reluctant or not, his acknowledgment that he was subjective, and, yes, vulnerable, when it came to her and this investigation, was a huge deal. She wasn’t sure she could have done it so readily.
Sloane knew her Bureau assignment was on the line. Derek could very well fire her on the spot. Still, she felt a huge wave of love and respect for him. He really was one hell of a guy.
“Gloating?” he asked drily.
“Quite the opposite. Admiring.” She left it at that. “At this point, the call is yours. You can have me removed from the case, or you can keep me on, setting new ground rules we can both live with.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Before you decide, I have to be as frank with you as you were with me. Other than reporting to you first, I wouldn’t change any part of my actions. I’d do it all again—even if I knew about the knife skirmish.”
“Of course you would.” Derek shot her a dark look.
“Think of it this way. As you pointed out, I haven’t rejoined the Bureau yet. The downside of that is that I have limited power. But the upside is I can bend the rules a bit. I can be creative. So give me some wiggle room. I’ll be a much greater asset to you if you do.”
“While putting yourself into how many lines of fire?”
It was time for her to make a concession. “Only those we agree upon—beforehand.”
Derek blew out his breath. “Damn, you’re a pain in the ass.” A brief silence, during which his jaw began working. “Do you have any idea how terrified I was when I saw you bent over that trash can, vomiting, with blood dripping down your arm?”
Sloane managed a wan smile. “Not as terrified as I was. When that little weasel came at me, I snapped right into Krav mode. Focused. No time to think. No room for fear. But when I realized he was going after my injured hand, I felt a surge of panic. The good news is that that stark jolt of panic made me twice as lethal. I think I crippled the guy, or at the very least ended his sex life, broke his nose, and shattered a few ribs. He hobbled off into the woods like a quivering bowl of Jell-O.”
Derek’s lips twitched ever so slightly. “Now that I would have paid to see.” Abruptly, all humor vanished. “Don’t scare me like that again.”
“I’ll do my best.” Sloane was beginning to feel the woozy effects of the Percocet. “Dammit, I’m fading. And I have more to tell you.”
“It’ll wait.” Derek glanced over at her, saw her glazed eyes and drawn expression. “You can tell me after you get some sleep.”
“Okay.” Sloane blinked, trying to clear her head and failing. “Derek?”