I undressed and climbed into bed knowing sleep would evade me, but maybe I’d come up with a solution both of us could live with. I needed to do some serious thinking, find a way to be there for the man I loved because I couldn’t stand the thought of him allowing his father to walk away without some form of punishment. And, I couldn’t consider living my life without Luke in it.
***
LUKE
It hurt like hell but I knew I couldn’t stay. If Kyle couldn’t support me when I needed him the most, he obviously wasn’t someone I could share a future with. I should have known it was a mistake to trust he would be there for me. Apart from old man Parker, nobody else ever had been, so why should Kyle be any different? I gathered the bags packed with everything I owned, quietly headed downstairs and left the house. I threw the bags in the back of my truck and rolled it down the slight incline to where my horse trailer was parked. The clanking of metal as I hooked up sounded overly loud in the early morning quiet, and I expected someone to appear and question what I was doing. Thankfully, the property remained draped in silence.
I hurried over to collect Sally from the stables which earnt me a glare for disturbing her slumber. The rays from the full moon, and a rapidly lightening sky, helped me to see in the darkened building. I patted Sally’s nose over the stable door as I unlatched it. She seemed to sense something was wrong and remained quiet while I led her to the float, onto the ramp, and inside. I secured the rear door before hurrying to the tack room to retrieve her saddle, bridle, and reins which I hefted into the back. I struggled not to cry out when my ribs burned with pain.
Before climbing into the driver’s seat, I took one last look up at the window of Kyle’s bedroom where I knew he’d be sleeping.
A tear slid down my cheek as my heart broke. I’d given up so much for this man, but he hadn’t loved me the way I loved him. Having a taste of the man I loved, knowing he cared about me, but not enough to stand by my side, hurt more than if he’d rejected me when I’d first arrived.
As I snapped the seatbelt in place, I wondered if I’d begged, would Kyle have relented and been there for me during the court case? I shook my head, and wiped away a few tears which had broken free. No, Kyle should have supported me without my having to beg.
I rolled down the rise leading away from the house before the engine roared to life with the turn of a key. Cattle snorted and grunted with the unwelcomed intrusion to their peace. The tires crunched on the gravel as I eased down the driveway, and gave one last glance over my shoulder, feeling sadness for what could have been. I couldn’t help but think my father was injuring me all over again.
Tears burned my eyes; I had never been so confused. I was tired of life. My father needed to pay for what he’d done, but I didn’t have the strength to fight him and my mother alone. I’d never felt so utterly helpless, alone, or bereft.
As expected, there was no traffic on the roads as I headed for Parker’s property. He was the one remaining person I could count on. He’d always been there for me and I knew that would never change.
As I drove, I noticed a few lights on at farmhouses, households readying for a new day of hard work. Town was quiet, no one around, the stores wouldn’t be open for hours.
I was surprised and concerned when I approached Parker’s house to find it lit up. He was an old man, and in the entire time I’d stayed with him, I’d never known him to rise before six. Even though my grief and distress sat heavily on my shoulders, and tears now flowed freely, an ominous feeling over his well-being sat heavy in my belly. He’d said I was welcome to stay whenever I needed, and for as long as I needed, so I knew my being here wouldn’t be an issue. Unless something was wrong.
I pulled the truck to a stop at his front door, leapt out, raced up the steps, and rushed inside.
“Mr Parker!” Alarm sounded clear in my voice.
He appeared in the doorway, and the relief I felt almost dropped me to my knees. I stepped to him, gathered him in my arms and sobbed into his shoulder. He held me close for a few moments before stepping back.
“Come and sit down, kettle’s boiled. I’ll get you a coffee, looks like you could use one.”