Rode Hard

I wiped at the tears and sniffed. “I’ll go and put Sally away first.”

CHAPTER NINE

KYLE

Three weeks had passed since Luke walked out, and I hadn’t been able to see, or speak, with him. I knew he was staying back at the Parker place, it was the only place he had to go and it was the one man he knew he could turn to for help. That fact saddened me, I wanted him to be able to turn to me, but I’d certainly stuffed up that possibility.

I’d visited the Parker place four times. Four fucking times! I still couldn’t get anywhere near Luke. The first time I’d gone there was the day after he’d left. My arrogant arse had been convinced, that once he had time to think things over, he’d see my point of view and come home. Home—would it ever be his home again?

The thought I may never hold him, kiss him, or make love to him again was tearing me apart. I’d been a foolish shit. I’d thrown away a chance of happiness with the man I adored because I was a fucking coward. Maybe how I felt was justified in some ways, but I’d let Luke down when he’d desperately needed my support.

He’d refused to see me and Parker wouldn’t do a damn thing to help me. Instead, I’d copped a royal chewing out, and a lot of what he’d said, I had to admit was true. He’d given me a lot to think about and I’d made a few important decisions in the days following that visit.

When I’d returned a week later, Parker had continued to refuse to go against Luke’s wishes and allow me to see him. I’d pleaded, begged, argued that I couldn’t make things right if I couldn’t speak with him.

Parker stood firm and said Luke would see me if, and when, he was ready. When I went back yesterday, nothing had changed, and I was now as frustrated as hell.

Back at the station, I was snapping at Wendy who’d told me in no uncertain terms, I’d been a dickhead.

The men gave me a wide berth and I couldn’t blame them. They were aware something was very wrong and it had something to do with Luke. If they’d had an idea what it was, they didn’t let on.

Anguish was consuming me to the point I was barely able to function. I needed to hold Luke in my arms, tell him how sorry I was for being a fool. I wasn’t eating properly and had lost a shit ton of weight. I had no drive, no energy, and felt like shit.

Luke continued refusing my calls but had taken one from Wendy. He’d told her he was done and I wasn’t to contact him again. I’d cried so much I was sure my eyes would stay permanently red and swollen. I started to question my life. How could I go on?

Then, after nights spent tossing and turning, berating myself for my cowardly decision, I made another which I hoped would change everything.

***

I stuffed a couple of changes of clothes into a small overnight bag, zipped it, and headed downstairs. Wendy was seated at the kitchen table studying her notes of what needed to be done around the property today. The morning light had broken through, a new day had begun. I grabbed my wallet, and truck keys, from a bowl on the bench before stepping over to the table.

“Going somewhere?” Wendy asked.

“I need to do something, I’ll be back late the day after tomorrow. Call if you need me.”

“Is it something to do with Luke?”

I nodded. “First I need to speak to mum and dad.”

“Make it right, Kyle. You need each other.”

“I’m gonna do everything I can to bring him back. I love him too much to let him walk away without a fight.” I kissed the top of her head.

She gave me a questioning look. “What was that for?”

“Thank you for being here for me, for putting up with my shit over the past weeks. Keeping the property going while I was being a dickhead and wallowing in my misery. And, for calling me on my bullshit.”

Wendy smiled and I kissed her cheek.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you. I trust you and you’re about the only person I can confide in at the moment. I can be myself. I don’t have to hide anything from you and I know you’ll always tell me the truth.”

Sadness, at least that’s what I thought it was, flashed in her eyes. It passed so quickly; I couldn’t be sure.

When I sorted out the mess I’d created for myself, I would get to the bottom of whatever had happened to her.

“I’m off. We’ll talk soon.”

“Give my best to your mum and dad.”

I nodded and headed out the door.